A
female
age
41-50,
*illgrlinlove
writes:Help!I have been dating this amazing guy for four months and he is everything I could possibly want in a man; however, he has issues with relationships. He has been hurt a lot before and tells me that "relationships are just exhausting" to him right now. I have tried to move on and give him the space he needs when he asks, but he always keeps bringing me back. When I think things are going great, he gets scared again. What should I do? I feel like my heart has been torn in every direction over these past four months.
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): No honey!No.Sorry to be harsh here but you need to send him on his way. He needs to 'get over it'. At some point everyone gets hurt but you can't make other, ie. you, pay for their mistakes. you also have feelings,don't write him off permanently, just give him more time, say, a year or so. If he likes you enough he'll fight to get you back.Right now you're making it "easy and convenient" for him. Let him go for a while. Good luck!
A
female
reader, MissWendlemoot  +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Unfortunately he is using you for emotional and physical comfort when he needs it. He doesn't want to give up his friends with benefits with you.
It is up to you to cut the cord and make it stick.
Best wishes xo
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Although you are affected. This deals with him and issues he's facing. This is difficult. It's an emotional block. He'd been hurt, so when his emotions start building with you to a certain level, the brain attaches the past pain with the present emotions and withdraws. It's a way of protecting him from future pain.
The problem also lies in the protection. As long as he allows himself to be emotionally bottled up, the greater his chance in developing or enhancing relationship fears.
A good start would be for him to realize your not the one who caused his pain. Also he needs to forgive those who had caused it. Not because they deserve the forgiveness, but because he deserves to move on and live without carrying the after affect of what they caused.
...............................
A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (5 August 2008):
 "He's not ready for a relationship" means he wants to sleep around with as many women as possible.
If that is not what you want. Then you have to put your foot down. He's just selfish because he wants you, like you, but does not want to put in the time and effort to truly get to know you.
Give him an ultimatum.
...............................
|
