A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for two years. We met online in 06 and started dating in the late summer. He had just gotten out of a divorce where his ex cheated on him multiple times and had a child with another man. I know I'm the "rebound" chick, but after two years I think that enigma has worn off.Anyways....Last october, after being together a year, I found emails and IM's to and from other women. He told them he loved them and wanted to meet them and for them to meet his son (yes, he has a son, which makes this even harder after 2 years). Well, of course....I found this and was devistated. (Mind you, these "women" were of the overseas type who come from Nigeria, asking for money too. But he never gave up money)He told me he was sorry and that he loves me and that he only wants to be with me. I'm the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with and be married to. And that I make him the happiest he's ever been. Fastforward to this October...I find another set of IM's with another Nigerian woman. Of course, asking for money and such. He gave her his phone numbers and said that he'd like to meet her and asked how she felt about kids. So of course this time I'm angry. He said he wouldn't do this again, and here he did. So I confront him again. He says he never gave out his number (I found the IM's in Oct and the ones where he gave out his number are from April) and he doesn't know what I'm talking about. So finally after a lot of crying and yelling, he said he was sorry again. He never meant to hurt me and that he loves me. Can't imagine life without me, wants to be with me forever, get married, have kids and grow old together. I told him if anything like this happens again, I'm gone. I don't care what point in our life we're in, I will leave. He says he can't imagine his life without me and that he doesn't want me to leave. My question is, am I being lied to again? Should I believe him? Does he deserve another chance? What should I do?
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divorce, his ex, met online, money Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, agony aunt floss  +, writes (29 October 2008):
 Look at the end of the day its your choice you can either leave and start a new life or stay and worry or take revenge by doing the same and then you both get hurt.
Also if you really want to stay give him a chance ask him politely why he reaches out to these women and try to see it from his side because maybe he just needs suport.
.Agony Aunt Floss.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): Leave this guy alone. Obviously HE'S the one that has the fidelity issues and you just don't deserve that crap.
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A
female
reader, agony aunt floss +, writes (29 October 2008):
Dear anonymous,
I cant begin to understand the pain of what your going through but honestly I think you already know deep down that your to good for him, and I realise it will be difficult to leave (if that’s what you choose to do) as you must be very attached to him and his son, however if you have somewhere to go such as a friends or a relative go there and get your life back in order. Don’t give him the satisfaction you seem to be a lovely woman and you deserve much much more.
.agony aunt floss.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really do love him though.
We have so much in common and I love his son and our families get along so well.We both can't imagine not having each other in our lives.
I just wish he'd stop doing bonehead stuff.
I really think I'm somehow paying for what his ex wife did to him, which isn't fair to me.
I don't want to break up with him, I just really want him to feel as bad as I do and to realize what he's doing.
Why are men so stupid?
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