A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:hithis is another question from an ongoing saga,will try to shorten it , but it is a long one! im in my 30's , work full time ,studying also , teenage daughter , young son , was seeing a 'friend ' who is the widow of a friend of mine, difficult situation. younger children played together and i helped out when friend died , in awful circumstance. been seeing this man for 2 1/2 yrs, fell in love , he also has teenage daughter, slightly older than mine , who for 1st 1 and 1/2 was abroad, very casual relationship till last 6 month , had grown, he also told me he had fallen for me. the younger children took different interests ,and stopped playing 2gether so much , daughters didnt get on well, but civil, he had job problems , my study is in last year and time became a temporary problem . 5 weeks ago he tells me it isnt 'real 'love after all and wants to split , was devastated and left him a few days to think it over , (his daughter tells me he devastated too , crying and drinking etc) then he texts me , after he walked out on his job , was friedly , went for cofy with him and ended up intimate, then he ignored me , when i phoned him (very upset) he says he definately doesnt love me , but is still messed up over me. we dont see eachother or speak for 2 wks, met him at a school meeting, and he ignored me, so phoned him and said we should at least be civil, cos still have feeling for hiim (big style) , he says he still cares for me and doesnt sleep at night etc, still messed up over me, still wants me but , cant figure it out, brief text day afetr that , then nothing again. is only a week till anniversary of wifes death, he says maybe it's guilt as our relationship getting serious (he had just met parents,) am totally confused, still live in my husabnds house , am waiting to finish uni, (only 5 months) and then divorce and move , at one point in relationship with this man, he asked me to move in with him( early on) but he still lives in house where wife lived, still photos etc around, and decor more or less the same. had told him i will movw from here into rented house and maybe later 'we' could have place of our own? was just trying to take things easy for both our sakes, but do love himand dont understand , if he still has feelings for me , why do we have do end it?
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female
reader, marie78 +, writes (23 November 2006):
You have to move on honey. Ket him deal with whatever it is he needs to deal with and just let this go.
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