A
female
age
30-35,
*unaSea
writes:One of my good friends and I have feelings for each other. The problem is, he lives in a different country and things have been very difficult between us.Even though he lives in a different country, he comes to visit a lot because he is best friends with one of my friends. We especially spent a lot of time together last summer, and things grew between us very naturally (we had known each other for about a year before then). When he left, he suggested that we try out a long distance relationship but I was reluctant because I had just gotten out of a relationship and was weary of LDRs. Despite that, we still remained very close and open about our feelings, and a month or so down the line I started warming up to the idea of a relationship with him, as he was coming to visit. However, it turns out he couldn't visit and that dampened the relationship potential as we wouldn't have seen each other for months after that opportunity. I basically told him to forget the idea, but we still remained close. That was a few weeks ago, and I recently admitted to him again that I was stupid for saying that and I truly wanted to be with him. The problem now is he said he can't keep living in hope and that he doesn't want this anymore, despite still caring about me.I am really regretting not having him when I had the chance. I keep on trying to tell him how I feel, but he keeps on brushing it off (but still being friendly). He was usually the one who was more loving towards me, so this change of tone is a bit of a punch in the gut.My question is two-fold:Firstly, have I lost any chance with him? Secondly, after confessing my feelings our friendship has become very strained. If there is no hope, how do I salvage our friendship? What's the line between trying to win him and trying too hard that it'll destroy everything?Thanks for taking the time to read this!
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