A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi guys i posted a question that follows in a min , but it ended up that after a week, i apperntly waited too long for him - my head is spining in circles and i really dont know what to do ....iv got major feelings for this guy, as much as i knew it was all bull, i let myself fall for him , n now i dont know what to do , anyone that read this following question all seem to say that he does care and that he is falling for me - showing they belive it too, but it was all bull- how can a week be too long to wait? please i dont know what to do- ive fallen for a guy that i cant have - and i knew it would end like this but still got sucked in !? iv never had this happen before and its really sending me up the wall previous question ****A few years ago, I worked with a guy for a few months and I didn't really think anything of it. I went on a night out and bumped into him, we ended up going back to his place and I spent the night with him and had sex, we were both drunk.This was about 3 years ago. Since then we have kept in touch, he's always said how much he liked me, I always avoided meeting up with him in case it was just for sex as that's all it was that night. He came round to my house about 6 months ago and because I was nervous, I got drunk - I think he did too, nothing happened apart from some kissing and he held me throughout the night...Then 3 weeks ago we went out together on a kinda date, again I was drunk and spent the night at his and had sex again. He came to see me before work one day last week, he only came round for a couple of hours and it was really the first time we had been sober together and we just spent it kissing and talking. Then I saw him this weekend after work, he came to my place and we had sex, the first time sober.... and again he held me and kissed me through the night. He said he really likes me and I actually missed him during the week of not seeing him - he's in the army so I could only see him at weekends.He said it's because I'm falling for him that I feel like this and he might be right but I really don't know if he just wants sex or if he does actually want to be with me.I have asked him if it was sex or a bit more than that and he said a bit more and I also said joking that he should be falling for me instead of me for him and he relplied with 'it's going both ways'.Does this mean that he really does want me for me, that he doesn't just want me for sex, or that he knows the things I want to hear?I don't know what to do?? xx******
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female
reader, didda123  +, writes (25 February 2009):
 I am not 100% sure of his feelings from what you have told me. Does he keep in touch with you during the week and arrange to meet you at weekends.
It just seems to me that he could be keeping you sweet so that he has sex on tap so to speak.
I don't doubt he likes you and fancies you but how much is the question is it so much that he couldn't live without you i don't think so somehow.
What i would do and i know it will be difficult for you but you would know once and for all what his intentions are.
Tell him you are getting really upset and confused about the relationship and you are having trouble reading his feelings for you and that you really like him but feel he may be taking advantage of the fact that you are falling for him and so because of this you want to end the relationship.
Actually end it, don't let him talk you around, then give him some space and time to digest what you have said and if he has any genuine feelings he will be back in touch knowing that you really do like him, he won't let you go if he has feelings believe me.
If he doesn't bother himself well he wasn't worth your love anyway and someone else will be.
Its the only alternative otherwise you will be in this quandry for a long time.
Good luck x
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