A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now, and recently decided to have sex.however, i had to stop because it hurt a lot i know it is meant to hurt but does it hurt that much?!also when i went to the toilet it hurt to wee, is this right? do i just have to endure the pain of sex? help! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit was my first time and i would say he was thick but then again i dont have anything to compare it too, thank will take the advice on board!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 April 2011):
 And just to add something for comparison. I once had a boyfriend who was very thick. He wasn't my first boyfriend, and I wasn't a virgin, but he was still so thick that it hurt like hell when we first had sex. I had to ask him to stop as I couldn't continue.
The second time me and him had sex I was dead set on being able to take it, so I bit my teeth together and took the pain. But after we were done it hurt so much I couldn't move! I actually couldn't move my legs, and I even cried a few tears just because of the pain.
So yes, a thick man will cause you to hurt. The solution was using lots of lube and taking it slow!
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (14 April 2011):
First times you have sex typically hurt, yes. It will also hurt to pee because the urine gets in contact with your vagina, which will be sore.
You need to take it very slow with your boyfriend, and make sure you are well lubricated. If you have trouble getting wet enough you should buy lubricant, they are often sold at regular stores and supermarkets. If not there then you are old enough to buy it at a sex-toy shop. You are wet enough when you are basically completely soaked down there, and your boyfriend can slide his penis up against you without there being any friction. Not only the vagina should be wet, but the outer lips and entire area down there. Having your boyfriend rub up against you will also help lubricate you as natural lubricant comes out of his penis as well.
If you use condoms, add lubricant to the condom as well. Put on the condom only when he is about to penetrate, and not earlier, as it will get dry and become unpleasant to insert.
Have you had sex for a while now and it has hurt every time? Or are you still in the beginning of sex, where you have had sex just a few times? If it is still in the beginning you just need time to adapt. The only way to adapt is to continue to have sex, and it should get better. If you have been having sex for a while, and you still are sore, it could be his size that is the problem. If a man has a thick penis (not the length) it will stretch out the opening of the vagina more. It is the opening that is narrowest. In that case, you need extra time to adjust to him, as well as added extra lubricant, and test out different positions. Some positions will work better for you if he is thick, and some will cause you more pain. Typically the missionary is best if he is thick, as you can relax your muscles and not have to move so much yourself.
Hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2011): No, you should not be in pain. Did you use a lubricant? If not then that may be your problem.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2011): No it gets better, it was like that the 1st two or three times for me, but by then your hymen is fully broken and you can enjoy sex just as much as your boyfriend. Lots of foreplay before hand will help you relax.This happens every woman her first time after sex to pee is very painful, like a burning feeling down below, but that stops too so don't worry.
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