A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:We “met” on a fan website for our mutually favorite band last april ‘09. I had just gotten out of a rather serious, and seriously bad relationship with my ex live-in boyfriend, so we both decided it would be best if we put off meeting and took time for me to heal. (I had pretty low levels of confidence after this very abusive relationship) I know it seems rather quick to jump from one guy to another. But.. I wasn’t willing to let go of someone who I had such strong feelings for. I didn’t want to be always left wondering what could have been.So originally we were supposed to meet in September (to give me the summer to get my self together) but I had to fly back to the east coast to visit my family.. another mess going on over there. But long story short, we ended up pushing it back because of it.Then we were supposed to meet up in November, but he ended up having to have surgery and it just didn’t work out with his school schedule and so forth.So once again we pushed it back. It was supposed to be the end of February, but this time it was his mom who had to have knee surgery and it just wasn’t working out ..So now here comes march.. it will be almost a year that this all started with he and I . I can say now with confidence that I have gotten myself together and I am definitely prepared to meet this man. We decided on the end of March. And I am completely nervous. Nervous moreover because we have put this off so much the anticipation has built itself up to a boiling point. And also because I am terrified that some act of god or something is gonna happen to prevent this to happen. And if something does put it off again.. I am scared that I am going to have to end it. This is the last thing that I want.I want him. I want this to work for us. We are both mature adults. He is nearly 30 and I will be 25 this year. I am ready to start my life and I want it to be with him by my side. But I really don’t know how much more I can take. The disappointment is awful, I just couldn’t take it again. And he knows this. I trust this man, I know this man more deeply then I have ever known anyone. This is my first online relationship and I just don’t know if I am handling it well. It seems so backwards- I know all his insides and can’t wait to know his outsides. Maybe its better that way.I want to know if anyone has been in a similar situation. If you have any relationship advice. Any online relationship advice. Any tips for meeting him for the first time (fingers crossed it actually happens this time).. Anything to calm my buggy nerves. Thank you in advance.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010): Hi - i would echo the same thing. I recently thought that I'd met mr dream guy. I was daydreaming about marriage. Then i met him and there was no chemistry and he was like a stranger to me. i'm still figuring out where to take it from here. my tips are: go in with low expectations. i went in with sky-high expectations and i came tumbling down. keep it low key, and casual. Please don't worry about nerves - this goes away within minutes! Good luck!
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