A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Almost 10-12 years back i started internet chatting. I started talking to this guy( the first guy i ever spoke to online) We made good friends and chatted everyday for an hour or two. \a year passed then two...he was from another country. We got really close online... 2 years into this vague relationship he decided to visit my country...Somehow with all the anticipation, fear of getting disappointed i got cold feet and didnt meet up. which resulted in ending of this relationship. Meanwhile our lives progressed, I fell in love Got married and a year later i got divorced also. Somehow we got around to talking online again, lots of changes had occured with us..and it was almost 7 years that we'd known each other. He had permanently shifted to my city and was now working here. There was a strange sort of longing i felt with this man, like i've known him forever and he knew me so well, we shared the same sense of humor and so many other things, we'd both sort of grown together being in and out of relationships, deaths, bereavments,shared experiences, philosophies about life..people.. we had so much in common, and we both managed to inspire eachother everytime we talked, i began to look forward to seeing him.. Talking to him in person, we discovered we had a lot of distant common friends..I found myself thinking about him all the time, another year into talking i decided to finally meet up with this mystery man....after his much insistance. Anyhow in our first meeting i wouldnt say i saw rainbows and stars and signs all over that hes the one, however it went interesting. He was polite, goodlooking, the perfect gentleman...it went quiet well. However after that first meeting safe for only a couple of times that he insisted on meeting never insisted again..with time our friendship has desolved,Despite my efforts to rebuild it..hes made himself distant and unconcerned. and it has left me with a void and wondering what happened and what went wrong...i keep rethinking in my head the last time we met and trying to gather what went wrong...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): Sorry you might not like this, but I homestly believe you were "in love" with each other as "mysterious" people.
Once the "mysteriousness" were gone, and you were face to face with each other, dealing with the reality, the "mystique' was gone, and obviously there was not enough chemistry and bonding to keep it togehter.
Please move on, forget about this person, see it as almost a "fantasy", but move on.
Dwelling on this can cost you many more years in your life, don't do that to yourself.
Life is for the living, get a grip and start enjoying "real" people around you.
Let it be!
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