A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I are constantly fighting over the kids. I have a 14 year old from a previous relationship and he has a daughter, 6 1/2, from a previous relationship. His daughter gets away with everything and my son gets pushed aside. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, babigurl0497 +, writes (1 August 2010):
 I say you should talk to your husband, and let him know that the kids should be treated equally, and not be shown favoritism, I no how your son must feel.. my dad used to show favoritism toward my big brother because he was way more mature than me, but I talked to my dad and told him the way I felt, it actually brought me closer to my daddy
I love my daddy and he loves me, and my bro equally now..!
HOPE THIS HELPS!!!!!!
:)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): This is classic.
Males typically disregard and even have animosity toward other male's offspring. While it is conditioning or instinct, by the time it manifests, particularly if he has his own "young", the mindset is deeply engraved beyond recovery.
After dealing with two males whom rejected my child(ren), I am of the conclusion: provide all the love and protection for your own child at the risk of losing your man. After many mistakes and successes, that is what I would change in history and never look back.
No man is worth a lifetime of knowing you put your child second to him.
No man.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): Im in a similar position the diffrence is 2 children 2 mothers and 1 father yet our son gets nothing not even his love or respect yet the daughter gets everything and more,but my son gets lots of loving and everything else he needs off me an he is a very happy child
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (1 August 2010):
If you are sure that is what is going on? that he babys her and the heck w/ your son, i wont play those games in a relationship! exspecially when it invovles kids, and the parent is acting worse then the kids! theres nothing wrong w/ how you are feeling. but what ever you do because his daughter is getting so much attention! remember thats him doing it. keep raising your son the way you are don't change that. but don't treat his daughter any different because it's not her fault he has spoiled her and still is!
and you have to understand that there is that bond between aparent and child and it is different. but you don't make the other child feel bad and confused and don't feel like apart of his life! i mean hes a boy and boys needs a man figure in their life! maybe if you talk w/ him and tell him hey lets do a one on one you take his daughter to a dress shop or what ever she likes to do? you know a girls day out and he can take your boy to a sport shop! but do it once a week and then the children will know who you are and you love them both and thats a start. and w/ your husband he will get closer to your son! it'll work but you both have to work together!!!
Good Luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): What is the family dynamic here? Is his daughter being raised soley by her father and yourself, or is she with you folks, on court appointed visitations? By stating that his 6 year old daughter gets everything and your 14 year old gets pushed aside...makes me wonder just what you mean...exactly? It may be a good idea to write back and give us some examples of what hubby is doing wrong so we can better advise you. I guess, I am looking at the age variance here of the 2 children, involved. I would imagine that a 6 year old requires much more time/attention if she is just on visits. Usually, a 14 year is quite willing to be ignored by his parents as many teenagers like it that way. I know when my kid`s were this age, they were rather embarrassed to even admit they had parents. :) Lil scamps! But I fully understand that not all teenagers are this way. So we need more information. Write back and give us more input. But I will state that when couples, marry, they must take on the task of treating each other's children with monumental love, respect and they must be fair to each other's children. If just one spouse, of them is not prepared to do this for the other's child/ren...it's wrong and very emotionally painful for the neglected child. After all, when one marries and they have children from pror relationship, they must understand that this new marriage is serious package deal. The well-being and happiness of a child's life is shaky,especially if one child is being made to feel left out. If your husband actions are hurting your son, it could leave lasting impressions. Please talk to hubby quickly and get some proper family counseling to get this issue out on the table. Good luck, dear
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (1 August 2010):
 Make your son your prioity. Spend time wth him alone and do stuff with him that he likes. Make dates to do stuff and write it on the calendar so that nothing interferes with this time. He's at a really vulnerable age and if you can be his main champion he will always come to you first. Is his father still around and are you on speaking terms? If so get him involved in making your son a prioity too. Don't expect your new husband to be your boys father because he's not and never will be.
Good luck this is a tricky situation.
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A
female
reader, meshelle88 +, writes (1 August 2010):
 I have 2 girls ages 10 and 6 and my fiance has 2 boys ages 9 and 12 and a daughter who is 7. We all live under one roof and it is a struggle. We are actually just not seeing a therapist bc we have major parenting differences. Also, his children's grandmother (moms side) has partial custody so they go back and fourth, and I believe he parents out of guilt. He lets his kids rule the roost (they also do the same at g-ma's house) and his younest and only daughter gets away with MURDER. First, let me ask you this, does his daughter live with yóu full time? Bc a lot of the time wkend dads parent out of guilt. Also, she is the girl, and the baby, your son is a teenager and more is expected of him, but there is a thin line between being a disipline for a good reason, and just flat out picking on the boy. Without planting a séed in your sons head, sit down and ask him what he thinks about your husband and if he is happy. I dont know how long you have beeñ married, but if your son express' to you negative feed back then its time to sit down with hubby. As for me, my kids come before ANY man, ANYTHING.
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