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anonymous
writes: I have been together with my now fiance for nine years. We had planned to get married in August. Now he drops a bombshell, he doesn't want children. He has known from the start of the relationship that one day I hope to be a mother. What should I do, Give up the man I love in the hope that one day I will find a man that can live up to the standards set by my fiance (the man I want to spend the rest of my life with) or forget about ever being a mother in exchange for a life I know and love?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Starr, writes (3 February 2005): Don't put your life on hold for anybody.Why should you make a sacrifice that you could regret for the rest of you life for someone who won't even meet you half way.Do you actually want to give up on your dreams to satisfy someone you may grow to resent for them.Don't be foolish when you put yourself on hold for others make sure they will do the same for you.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (26 January 2005):
 You need to talk to your fiance again and establish exactly why it is that he doesn't want children. If he has always been aware that you wanted children perhaps something has made him change his mind or did he want children before? Did you discuss it in much detail before? Has anything else changed in your relationship? Is he aware of your subsequent dilemma? You definitely need to explain exactly how you are feeling and how it is making you doubt getting married now because it is so important to you.It will be a very difficult decision to face if he really doesn't want children and he must be made aware of this but it will be very hard to compromise. You will need to weigh it all up in your mind very carefully and consider issues like resentment towards your fiance as well as not wanting to be without him.Good luck.
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