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Fiance not holding up his end, should I move back home?

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Question - (18 September 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 September 2011)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

It's been a year since I've moved from California to Nebraska with my fiancé and our 16 month old due to employment for my fiancé, I was able to transfer companies. He is no longer working and is now in the court system, things are not what he promised(seeing how I left all my family) I am able to support us out here better than i would ack home,but I left my family for these empty promises. He says he has anger towards me cause I am out interacting with people daily. It seems like we are now two different people. He is having trouble finding work. Should I be thinking of moving us back home?

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (18 September 2011):

Ciar agony auntIf everything else is working out well for you in Nebraska, then why not stick around a while? Go it alone. You can return to California any time so there is no rush.

You're already a single parent. You might as well make it official. Don't waste years of your life supporting a dud.

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A female reader, cmarieky United States +, writes (18 September 2011):

This is a testament of his faith. I think it is a trial God has allowed you two to go through. Maybe you asked yourself or prayed is this the right move, is he the "one". Your finance is struggling, and he may not have anticipated this. He's becoming angry bc his plan of relocation isn't currently working out. He may be a bit embarrassed by bringing u into that. And it could be he isn't able to express this hurt with u for fear u may say you're not a real man with these broken promises. He may be stressed and irritable....thus taking his frustration out on you unfortunately. So do you stay or do you go.... I think if he is steadily trying to secure a better job for you and the family but is hitting brick walls stand by him. He actually need your strength and faith in him bc he may be losing faith himself. It seems like the plan was to take care of u with the new job. But now youre having to take care him. And he is your family too....maybe not by blood but definitely if u intend to marry your spouse will be your family. If you go back home that shows you truly don't love him, but your family u love more. Although this man you claim to love needed u this most and u bailed on him. Understand that the economy is struggling, and as long as you're able to support the family without any harmful stress then I see no reason to leave him. So its not what he promised, but unless he's god not all his promises will happen. And it may just be delayed. I don't meant to sound religious and I'm not, it just seem like the typical story of a guy taking a lady from her family to love her and be her provider. Reasons I would leave him: if he totally gave up on the promises he may by stop looking for something better. If he began to act violently towards me. If he accused me of being the reason he can't find work. If he began to emotionally abuse me. If he starts lying habitually. If he starts cheating...drinking excessively, using drugs, hanging out for days not calling or caring, being secretive. Be his rock now, I know u both are weary. And you want to leave him. Think about if it was u and what you'd want him to do if u made him promises that failed to come. The real question is how much do you actually love him and how patient is your love? Best wishes

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