A
male
age
41-50,
*abriel777
writes:Ok here's my deal. I am in Iraq and I have been with my Fiance for almost 2 years I try my hardest to call IM and email I even text and send her flowers once a month to let her know she is still on my mind and in my heart. the problem is she recently when I call or chat whith her she is distant she says she sill loves me but she is having a hard time dealing with me being gone she has been mean to me and tells me she is stressed recently we got into an argument becuase I stayed up late to chat with her she blew me off and when I complained she didnt give me a courtesy email she blew up at me and told me the world didnt revolve around me and that if i didnt like it not to call her than she used her kids as an excuse not to chat with me that night. When I ask her what is going on she gets mad and says that she's pissed because I keep asking her that what gives?
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female
reader, Teacake +, writes (11 November 2008):
 She obviously is a bit self-centered if she doesn't understand that you are serving your country at the moment and that her silly feelings are inappropriate.
I would not at all put any effort into being considerate to a girl who is as selfish as she is if she doesn't honor you for giving yourself to a higher cause at the moment. Thank you for having the decency to serve the country! You deserve someone more mature and loving than this girl.
I'd cut her off completely and let her wonder what is going on with you. She obviously can't think about anyone other than herself and she is being highly immature. Cut her off and find a woman who appreciates you and what you are doing for a higher cause. She doesn't deserve you!
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (11 November 2008):
My husband is in Iraq at the moment so I know a bit of what she muct be going through.
You tend to change your routine completely when your other half disappears, it's like being single again but with constant pain and worry about your other half.
She could be taking this hurt and pain out on you which really isn't great, but people cope in very different ways. She's feeling abandoned and the kids are probably driving her insane.
Why not try calling a bit less, and just send emails and also don't forget to post letters. I love getting letters from my husband in the post, as you can sit in bed and read them and look at the handwriting and doodles.
If you call less then you can also save up your welfare minutes and then arrange a time for a proper long chat when all the kids are in bed and she has time to relax with a glass of wine by the phone. Don't forget to listen to all her news as much as telling her your own.
Give that a try and if she still seems off then you might need to ask seriously if somethign else is going on.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (11 November 2008):
 Oh! I am so sorry that she is being like that to you. It must be very hard for you being away from home and not knowing whats going on.
Please dont let this effect you, because I am sure you need to be on your toes, and keeping your spirit's up.
My advice would be to not contact her, and let her think about it.
She is putting you in a very difficult situation and is being really selfish. Perhaps no contact by you will make her realise what she risk's losing.
Try to not let it cloud your judgement.
Take care honey XXX
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