A
female
age
41-50,
*ubbles17
writes:ok, ive been dating this man for over 2 years we got engaged at the begining of this year. he cheated on me with at least 4 women that i know about, he got 1 pregnant and now has a daughter about to turn 1. he made a complete change and is faithful now and i love him. its what i have fought for so long and so hard, but i started having feelings for a new man at work. he was nowhere near the type of guy i would go for, but the more i talked to him the more attracted i was.i ended up cheating on my fiance with him and of coursenfelt bad so i fessed up. he was upset but forgave me and thanked me for coming clean and said after what he had put me through he couldnt judge me for it. but i cant get this other man out of my head. i think about him constantly. my fiance never compromises and does anything that i want to do. he will not leave his 'bubble', come to think of it he really never has.an i still just cannot accept the fact he had a child with someone else while he was with me. i have met her once and she is beautiful but i know this sounds really bad but i cant stand the thought of seeing her, it reminds me what he did, and reminds me of her psycho mother who will not quit trying to cause drama for me. im trying so hard to get over this and i feel like a bad person for it. i have loved him for so long an hate to give it all up but what it has come down to is i have seriously considered leaving my fiance for the other man. i do love my fiance but i worry there r to many hurdles to leap still and they r just to big. me an this other person have not done anything sexually again but we have talked on a deep level an he wants a serious commitment with me. he is a great guy but he does not have the financial security as the other. he can barely take care of himself (im sounding petty now but it runs through my mind).he wants marriage an children with me and i can really be myself around him and feel free.now to add another log to the fire hes in jail. nothin serious or anything but hes always doing stupid lil stuff that adds up. i didnt think it was possible for me to b in love with 2 men but i am. i cant even begin to put anymore in writing because it would go on for days. please i need advice.
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female
reader, Gabbrielle1221  +, writes (31 May 2009):
 I say this in the most nicest way possible my dear... Girlfriend... you need to be honest about your relationship, if you cant behonest now what about the future. You need to plan and sit down and ask eachother what do you want to happen in your life and where do you think we will end up in 25 years time. If you still both are "umming" and "arring" i suggest you think seriously about what relationship you're portraying because honestly it looks very dishonest. No matter how many times you fess up about a crime, funny enough still nobody trusts you. How many times do you see it on reality t.v, they apologize for the behaviour then in the "diary room " for e.g they start chatting behind their back. You need to be honest with yourself and with the person you with and come to a conclustion that maybe we might need counselling to sort out all problems or we may indeed need to cut each other off... its the only way my friend. Keep strong though.
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