A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend (27) and I (26) have been dating for 5 months. I have never dated anyone as wonderful as her and I am ecstatic. I have also never dated anyone for so long without ANY sexual intimacy. I am horribly inexperienced with such an abstinence scenario, this is new to me, I'm at a loss as to what I should do and I fear I am acting like a jerk as a result. Female Readers: Please help me get my mind off the sex in my relationship.I am ALWAYS thinking about sex when she comes over. Yes she is phenomenally sexy, but it's unprecedented how I can't control myself in this relationship even when I try. I really don't want to pressure her or hint at it but I honestly can't help it. I must radiate lust. I made a very conscious effort not to get anywhere near that line tonight but then we started kissing. She started necking me, licking my earlobe and I completely lost it (!), sweeping my hands all over her body and slowly teasing her breasts. She slipped me some tongue and I slipped off our pants as we embraced. After a while, my hand traveled up to cup her pussy and she stopped it saying that she doesn't want me to touch her pussy. My clouded mind was left wondering how I even got to that stage after I had resolved at the beginning of the night NOT to touch her pussy.This is happening too often. She must feel pressured and think that I am only interested in sex when we see each other. I have never pushed for sex in past relationships and I have always waited for my partners to initiate the "first time" when they are ready (within a month or so). After all these months, I have to say that the wait is getting the best of me and I must be acting like a jerk.Female readers: If you are or having been in this situation with your boyfriend, please spare no words and no degree of strong language to tell me exactly what I should do to get my mind off sex. If you are or were upset at your boyfriend because of this please tell me this. I don't want to bring up this topic with my girlfriend (she could think I'm waiting for sex) and I would really value your thoughts!Thank you immensely!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 In addition to talking with her about it as dirtball suggested, I suggest that you give yourself some relief, wink wink, right before she comes over. Hopefully that will relieve some of the pressure so you can think about other things.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2011): talk to her about it! Tell her youre not just after sex, but you can't help it. Tell her what you feel, that you find her really sexy and stuff
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (6 January 2011):
 Well, I'm not a female, but it's very clear you need to talk to her about this. Basically, you can curb some of your fears about what she may be thinking by addressing them yourself. Remember, conversations like this are very worth while and don't need to lead to conflict. Honest and open communication is your friend! :-D
I suggest you tell her that you're afraid you're acting like you want sex so badly, and you apologize if she thinks that's what you're all about. Tell her you want to wait as long as it takes for her to be ready, and she should never hesitate to stop you if you get carried away. Tell her that you find her very attractive, and have difficulty stopping or knowing where the boundaries are when you two start getting hot and heavy, especially when the cloths come off, but you never want to make her uncomfortable or feel like you're just after sex with her. Tell her that you're affraid that is what she thinks of you and see how she responds.
This conversation will likely be a little awkward at first, but if you open with being afraid about what she may be thinking of you, you should be alright.
Good luck!
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