A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Help. I have started having incestuous feelings towards my cousin I can't help it but she is causing it unintentionally, how do I tell her without making it awkward for both of us? My cousin is very close to me she is the only child and we work in the same city. Recently she cheated on her fiance of 5 years with another man and everybody knows about it and she says everybody says she is a bad person so she always comes to my apartment and cries on me and hugs me like I am one of her girl buddies. When I try to push her away she gets angry she asks why I am not there for her? So I let her cuddle up with me I am afraid she will commit suicide she is so depressed she skipped work and her boss already fired her but she doesn't care, she keeps asking me if she if a bad person and if he will be take it back. I need her to give me some space but how to tell her? She has stayed in my apartment for more than one week she keeps asking me to stay at home and not go to work and she keeps lying in my bathroom bathtub I even saw her naked accidentally. She is triggering sexual feelings in me it is terrible I even could not control myself from masturbating to her. I know this is sick so I must end this quick just must not offend her. How do I tell her?..
View related questions:
cousin, depressed, fiance, incest Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2015): well this is a tough situation for you and i do sense that you are attracted to her. i agree she has no friends and is in a lonely place right now. as you have never had a sister you dont know how you should feel if you had one.brother and sister are usually close as youngsters and tend to drift away a bit as they get older.as far as i know they dontt get aroused for each other,so your situation is d ifferent.nor do they rest head on shoudes and demand cuddles.often they do not flaunt themselves in the nude but if youre from one of those families where nudity doesnt count...then maybe you would be more free at home.i think you are from a stricter family and your cousin is a bit of a dahlin mainly because she's pretty.she maybe trying to use her pretty looks to hide away from everyone and to stay longer at your place.she probably didnt want fiance to know she cheated but he does,courtesy of her 'friend' and he's dumped her .she may get kicked around from pillar to post if you boot her out as she is definately damaged goods right now,so if you are going to let her stay you will have to talk bluntly to her and say "no more cuddles and definately no sex.'she needs a plan of action now that her world has evaporated and she could actually get to know a real person in a non sexual way.because you are younger she may see you as an easy target and after that she may want to rule the roost.how you act is up to you.from where i am it doesnt make the slightest difference to me if you bed your cousin of twenty six, but it would change your life one way or the other.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2015): OP here..Are you guys saying she wants to have sex with me? Shit no way am I gonna do my own cousin she is like my own sister, well I don't have a sister but you get the point. She is 26 I am 23, my cousin she is really messed up she has this history, she was really rebelious as a teen she ran away from home once. Plus she is quite wild always the party girl, liked to flirt with guys, does crazy stuff like skinny dipping and all that. Her parents had to transfer her to another school when she was 15 coz she was hitting on her English teacher she had a crush on. She's like Serena van Woodsen from Gossip Girl you know what I mean. She doesn't really trust people. She had a one night stand with this guy after some party at some club then one of her friends leaked this piece of secret to her fiance, that's how she got caught, so he dumped her and now she is devastated, he is some rich guy and they were gonna get married next year. She keeps saying she has no real friends everybody hates her coz she's so pretty their all jealous of her. Well yes I know she's gorgeous but she also has very low self esteem. She doesn't trust anybody at this moment perhaps only me. This is really stressful for me. I am at the wrong place at the wrong time
...............................
A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (1 December 2015):
How old is your cousin?? If she's a similar age to you, I would call your parents (or her parents) and explain what's going on. Not about the kissing and cuddling but about her low mood, job loss and suicidal intentions.
To be honest, the behaviour you describe in your post sounds like somebody who is really quite mentally unwell or possibly even has a personality disorder (Borderline Personality Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder spring to mind - Google them for more information)
Such people need professional intervention or at least a wide range of support. It's too much for one person to deal with on their own.
Do this soon too. It's all to easy to let these people drag you down with them - and it sounds like you're struggling already.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2015): I guess your being taken for a ride because you feel overpowered by a not very important situation.If your cousin is busy with everyone's disapproval over her cheating with the fiancee then maybe she wants to go the whole way and get intimate with you.If you are interested it is not a crime providing its consenting and not in public and both over the statutory age.Would it work out for you both?Who knows...maybe it is just a way to get more drama to sling in the family face.Maybe she just wants to hurt her fiancee as much as possible while she can.Maybe she is just mixed up and you are her rock to cry on and a bit of a FCK buddy too.Only you can determine her motives by knowing her well.Maybe it is just a nice place to go away from the world and is rent free and cosy.In all cases you can just tell her to go,Tell her your decorating,you've got another cousin coming over to stay etc but if you don't want to be subject to a lot more drama then don't bed her or get intimate any friendlier than brotherly hug.If you must point out your aroused state you can qualify it with all kinds of hell and damnation curses and point her to the door telling her its killing you but she's got to go and a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do..N
...............................
|
