A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I want to ask other girls out there for their opinion on feeling self-conscious when you are on top during sex? I don't know why I feel that way. I'm not a heavy girl, however I do have an issue with my stomach because I have a curved spine so my back arches inwards quite a bit which subsequently makes my stomach stick out a bit. I know it will never go away, but it still bugs me. The only other thing is I don't exactly like what gravity does to my chest to be honest..I just feel so strange when they are just out there, I obviously know he is looking at me in a good way, but I can't help but feel horribly self-conscious.Does anyone have any tips for me so I don't feel like this? I totally feel stupid because I don't have the confidence and almost feel like I'm doing it wrong. I know I can't get up to the pace that my boyfriend can when he is on top so I sort of feel bad that I'm not "doing it right". I don't know if it's relevant but thought I'd add that in my previous relationship my bf insulted me on a daily basis calling me fat and other degrading things. I'd like to think I am over that because my new boyfriend is amazing and makes me feel so much better about myself.Any advice is appreciated, thanks everyone!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey everyone just wanted to say thanks for all your advice!!! I do like the idea of turning the light off. And see I find it doesn't feel all that great on top but I do it to change things up and whatnot. Well it actually worked out well cuz my boyfriend asked me how I felt when I was on top and I was like "its ok" and he was like "no seriously tell me, if you don't really like the feeling of it then we don't have to do it like that because I want it to feel good for you too". So we figure we will work on it, it helps alot when he is so understanding of it. Anyway thanks again everyone!
A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (5 February 2010):
 I can't speak for all guys, but I know mine likes looking at my face predominately and only check out other bits briefley if at all.
Try more of a hip rolling/grinding action than up/down if you want more pace, ...and as an added bonus, coz all the movement is through the hips, you can keep your torso relatively upright combating some of that gravity problem, ..well not exacerbating it anyway.
As suggested, you can alter lighting if more comfortable, and you don't neccessarily have to get compltely naked everytime either, ...some guys like it if you leave a bra or a negligee on sometimes. See through mesh stuff works great, gives all the visual but may keep you feeling a bit more 'covered, and in the case of a mesh bra, ... more supported.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (5 February 2010):
 Cowgirl position is one of men's favorite position. It gives them much pleasure physically and visually it's an eye candy to see gravity in action. Men feel grateful and loved when women are on top. You can never do it wrong if he knows you are trying hard. Have him hold his hands up so you can grab them and support yourself. As you move up and down you lose grip. Grab different points of his arm, his wrist when you go up and down. Once in a while switch from a 90 degree angle to a 145 angle. You can also press your hands on his chest, or on the bed sheets so most of your weight is supported. Then switch it back to a 90 angle when you regain some strength. The cowgirl position is such a great workout. It tones your whole body. Whenever you are tired just keep on thinking fab abs. You would be surprised how much your boyfriend would thank you for this.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 February 2010):
 Honey, turn off the lights and have a few candles lit, that way you won't be to overly conscious of how you look to him, though I can tell you this... The sooner you learn that sex is about enjoyment (for BOTH of you) the sooner you will forget about how he may or may not see you. Besides if you look someone in the face (eye to eye) they are going to be too busy to look elsewhere.
And... everyone looks great in candle light:)
If you feel like you can't keep up a high temp (when on top) have him place his hands on your hips and "help" keep up.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010): As a guy, I like it when my girl is on top occasionally. The last thing the guy will be looking at is your stomach...he will be amazed by everything else, just keep that in mind.
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