A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with my boyfriend for 2.5 years now. He is a chef and works long hours which means we don't get to see each other much and we dont live together yet.Lately I have been feeling very lonely and been finding his job and hours even harder! I have a few close friends who I spend time with but they are all in relationships too and are often busy seeing they're boyfriends. I find weekends particularly hard.I have brought up how I feel to my boyfriend a few times but find it hard as I don't want him to feel like I am blaming him or that I want him to change jobs. When I bring it up he just feels guilty and like he is not making me happy anymore.I am worried that we are going to grow apart and that I am going to push him away if I keep bringing this up and getting upset about it. I want our relationship to work because I still love him so much but I dont know how to stop feeling this way and constanly missing him?Help and Advice needed please? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, It's all be okay +, writes (25 April 2010):
I'm afraid that this is your problem, not his, and it is up to you to fix it. He has always worked long hours, and you should assume that he always will. Therefore, it is up to you to enjoy your life accepting this situation. If you are lonely, then you need to find ways of not being lonely - with activities, seeing friends, and so on. Also, to view being by yourself as a great opportunity to get things done - to go to the gym, to read a book, to laze in bed, to have a walk in the park. Depending upon your job, maybe you can even think about getting a dog (but only if you have time and energy to look after one).
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (25 April 2010):
You can try getting some more friends, joining clubs and groups, getting a hobby, and filling your time a lot more.
And you have to make the time you do have together really special, so put it in the diary when he has a day off and plan something nice to do together.
But at the end of the day, it's always going to be like this while he is in this job. You have to decide if you can be happy or whether you have to take a chance on finding someone new.
Good Luck!! xx
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