A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I've been in a relationship with this guy for about three years now. It's not my first long-term relationship. He used to try to have sex with me all the time, but rarely does anymore, unless it's morning-time -and I can't help but to think it had nothing to do with me turning him on- just his natural morning wood. I would have sex with him more often but the main thing is, he only showers like once a month. (he's still into that 90s grunge thing) I don't like having to ASK him to take a f*k*ng shower in the middle of the heat of passion, so I just don't even try anymore... I've tried talking to him about it and it seems to do nothing but get us in fights. One time he even told me "Why try when it's just going to be the same as every other time", BASICALLY saying I'm boring in bed. This was a long time ago he said this... It really hurt me and it still haunts me sometimes. I'll think about trying to work out more often and trying to look good then I randomly come across some articles on the internet about how to spice up your sex life. So I start remembering him saying that. IS this completely hopeless?I really think sometimes I should just give up on the entire relationship.. we've broken up several times for a couple of months but always end up back together. It seems like he doesnt really try either though... Sometimes when I get in the mood I wish he would shower more often (because I really don't think I should have to ASK him to do that) but then I think about what he said and it just RUINS MY DAY and I just keep feeling the hatred grow more and more. I dont feel like we're in a "normal" relationship - I know everyone has problems, but another thing is I do try to be clingy with him sometimes, just to show compassion, or if I'm in the mood; maybe that would make him think "OH MAYBE I SHOULD GO TAKE A SHOWER SO I CAN GET LAID" but he just acts annoyed when I'm clingy... If we havent been intimate in a while though, it's REALLY hard for me to get the courage to just randomly go put on some lingerie and walk into the living room while he's watching tv. I feel like we're an old married couple.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 July 2010):
 A MONTHLY shower ?.. Honestly, I don't know how you can cope with that. I could not stand being in the same room with a guy who showers once a month, forget about having sex with him.
More than on your seduction skills, apparently there's a lot of work to do on his basic adjustment to civilized society.
anyway, regardless of his poor personal hygiene habits, the advice is a classic.
You break up then you get back together. On again, off again. These start-and stop relationships eventually never work and sooner or later they come to a screeching halt. let's hope is sooner so you can run to call Pest Control.
A
female
reader, johannabanana +, writes (20 July 2010):
 he doesn't like a loser. Any guy that finds it acceptable to be that dirty all the time is a slob... Stop trying to see something in this guy that isn't there. Stop aiming so low when you know you can do better. Just look him straight in the face and say I don't like having says with someone that smells like a homeless man and you never want sex anyway. I can do way better that a slob like you. We're over. Trust me.. You won't regret that ending.
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