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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: This might not be a very interesting question but it would help me a lot to read some answers and see if I still have to work with things from my childhood or not. You see, I have a lot of good memories about my childhood and teenage years. Sometimes I like to see the pics and travel to the past with a smile on my face. Songs, cartoons and even some toys I still keep make me remember good things about my past; but at the same time there are some songs and circumstances that make me sad. I really can't figure out why. I didn't have the most normal childhood because my family is a bit dysfunctional. My father was a strict one and my mother used to respond with things like: 'because I said so' and always be moody and crazy about cleaning the house and basically a control freak desperate seeking the acceptance of my narcissistic father. I want to believe I have healed most of these stuff. Right now writting about it didn't hurt me or made me sad. I feel it doesn't hurt me no more. But there are some memories I have that make me feel sad. For example, looking at a very old commercial on youtube made me feel sad and I don't understand why. I don't remember about the specific commercial but I do remember the name of the furniture store and how they used to have lots of commercials when I was a little girl. I want to know if everybody has sad memories about their childhood like this one. Of course you'll have sad memories if your dog died when you were 6, or your granny passed away when you were 9, you had to move to another city and leave your friends behind at 10, or you were bullied. etc. I mean like memories of sad periods in your childhood you cannot understand why. Thanks for reading/replying.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): Conclusion: Yes, maybe I'm thinking too much. Maybe that was nothing I need to take care of. Got a little emotional and analytic there. Lol! Thanks for all your help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): thats a really good response.
so really you are thinking to much...?
(i dont do this because brain will bleed).
so if i was you - get busy. do charity work - learn how to use a pc. write. do the things you wanted to do. think about the past and all that lay in front of you. Start doing things. Or as someone once said (have used this a lot here today).
look back, just don't stare.
Hugs, Star.x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): Hi. Thanks for all the replies. You've all helped. I was sleepy when I posted the question so maybe it wasn't very clear but you still got it. I've been trying to deal with emotional problems from my past in the last year and a half after I dumped my ex and was left with a lot of emotional baggage. That got mixed with frustrating events from my past and I relized most had to do with a toxic family. So to make the long story very short I started thinking about my past, reading about dysfunctional families and talking/arguing/yelling at my mother because of the way she used to treat me (even as an adult) Results? Lots of arguments but now she respects me a lot more for the first time in life. That helped me a lot with my self confidence and made me aware of lots of emotional and social problems I always had. I think there could be more emotional trauma inside of me and I need to work with it before I get into another relationship to avoid repeating all the drama I had in the last one. I'm also lacking real friends and unemployed. So What am I trapped with 24/7? Feelings. And since I have no control of those aspects of my life because I can't get good friends or a good job just because I want to at least I can do something to become a better person. That's why instead of avoiding bad feelings I want to become my own personal therapist and take control of my past and don't let it control me anymore. I guess my concerns came from watching an old commercial on youtube that was supposed to make me feel good about the past because I was a little girl and I shouldn't have had any problems back then. But instead, this sad and stressed feeling came to my soul. I felt like eventhough I was a very little girl I was feeling tense and unhappy. Another example is disco music. I was born in 1975 and I have always felt disco music reminds me of bad periods of my childhood. It's like it takes me back to were I feel insecure, and I'm trying to 'dig' into my subconscious mind to see if I can identify the source of my negative feelings and deal with them, like I did with the feelings of low self esteem when I confronted my mother a year and a half ago. But, I was wondering if other people feel like this too. Like they have bad emotional reactions to things of their childhood that are not obviously sad themselves (like death or specific abuse) and don't understand why. I believe it has to do with things we pick up from the environment like "Other Starfish" says.'happygirllucky' At least I know I'm not alone. Yes, my older sister also has bad feeelings about things of her past, but she is basically in denial. She just ignores them and tries to focus on 'good things'. She has a 'good life' because she has everything (money, husband, children, stable job, etc.) although I doubt she is truly happy because this kind of people are clowns (smiling in the outside while crying from the inside). True happiness comes not from what you have, but from what you really feel like inside.I believe there are some things of the past you have to leave behind and accept. But at the same time there are other things of your past you can still fix to have a better tomorrow.
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (27 February 2009):
 I do! But I think everyone does. It may make us sad because we are thinking how easy and simple life was and we didn't have any of the stresses we have no. Or it may make us sad if we assossiate the song with a sad event. If this is getting to the point that you actually feel depressed then you need to see a doctor or go to counselling sessions. X
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): Its actually a very good question - so what triggers us to feel bad about the past (or sad)?
I doesn't sound that its a problem for you really - just when you do it happens. Some thoughts on this; When you look through is there a point that it happens for you? like the advert might be at a time when you melted the living room carpet and you were caught by your parents - so subconsously you pick something up. or the same with the memories i remember happy times years 8-11 but not afterwards? (just a thought).
My own view is the past is history and we do feel sad that it has passed and reminds all of us that we are mortal and we can't rewind time. However, i also think the past is fabulous - its where you remember all those things like the first kiss or a favourite toy and we all the summation of our histories (and those of our parents regardless of the nature or nurture argument). I say embrace and enjoy your past even the sad parts. They have made you - well, um er.... you.
- for those that are sad of their past remember today is tommorrow's history - so you can change it...right now today.
Star.x.
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