A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello aunts!I would like to start off by saying that I am 14 and a high school freshman. Four days ago, an 18 year old high school senior asked me out. Please don't judge the ages, I am aware. He's leaving for boot camp next fall and I do not expect a long lived relationship. However, he is very sexually experienced and made out naked with his last girlfriend (an aquaintance of mine, she's 15). I was raped last year and am hesitant to go far with men. In addition, he smokes cigarettes and weed. Basically, I am afraid of being pressured into sex and drugs. How do I gracefully avoid an awkward situation of being pressured? Thank you!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 April 2011):
 you just say "i'm flattered but no thank you" to any dates with this young man.
I'm sorry but 14 is too young to date 18.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (23 April 2011):
 Say no!
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (23 April 2011):
 the actual age difference between the two of you is not great numerically. only a handful of years. but at your age, the emotional differences are very drastic. he's an adult, you're still a minor. he's sexually active, you're not. he's legally allowed to smoke, you can't. he can drive, you can't, he's experienced things you haven't yet. and that's okay for him to do those things if he chooses because he is an adult. and it's okay for you not to have dabbled in them yet because you're still fairly young and that's normal.at this point, you have to be the strong one and decide what you are and are not willing to do. this is a vulnerable place for you in your life. if you're not wanting to experiment with this guy, don't do it. i would cut my ties with him now and not let things go any further. you don't want to regret any decisions you make now later on down the road. also, be wary of this guy. often times older guys go for younger girls because they think they're inexperienced and take advantage of that. if he ever pressures you, even once, into something you're not comfortable with, don't be afraid to speak up and tell him. whatever you choose to do, good luck. my overall advice is to trust your gut. if it ever tells you you're uncomfortable, don't do it. don't ever do something that doesn't feel right.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2011): You can avoid it by not going out with this 18yr old. It's fairly obvious what he wants and he will try and get it. If you refuse he'll find someone else. I don't see how you could avoid being pressured. I hope you realise he isn't after a relationship at all and is just after sex, right? Not to mention that by wanting to go out with a child when he is an adult means he IS a pervert and it's not considered normal by most people's standards.
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