A
female
age
30-35,
*asanovaxeja
writes:well, hello. heres the story, questions at the end. the other day, my mother found out i like girls. there was no question about me being lesbian (which i am) or bisexual. she was just pissed and all depressed about me liking girls. anywho, my mom went through this depression phase, and eventually said something about god giving her a message to speak to me. when she said this she was so sincere, but i wanted to burst out laughing because god didnt tell her anything. anyways, she forcing me to go to church, see s psychologist, and join a youth group. she doesnt understand that this is something i have no control over, and i dont even have a desire to change it. i am happy with who i am. well, after she told me that god had sent her a message or whatever, i think she felt relieved. she turned happy again, and acted like nothing happened. problem is now, i feel so alienated with regards to my family,feel worse than when they didnt know, and just almost depressed. is it ever going to get better? are my parents ever going to accept it? am i ever going to feel happy again?
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female
reader, QZ +, writes (21 June 2010):
 I'm sure your situation is hard, and I'm sorry. It's going to be harder, however, for your parents to accept you for who you are, and it might take time. And that'll be hard too. But if they're very religious people, it's going to take a lot to get over the "shock" (speaking from their point of view). I'm sure your parents still love you, no matter what. And it WILL get better. It might get worse first, but things always get better in the end. And while seeing a shrink for being a lesbian isn't a good thing (you're fine the way you are - why would you need to change that?) you might want to have someone to talk to about your parents and home life. Sit down with your parents, tell them that you love them, and that it would mean a lot to you if they accepted you for who you are. Say you understand that might take time, but you need their support in all endeavors of your life (you'll be out of high school soon, and that's a scary time of life for anyone no matter what their home life is like!). And you will be happy again, if you look for happiness. Do the things you enjoy. Surround yourself with friends that care about you. And realize that this is YOUR life, you decide your own destiny. Don't let your parents' views weigh you down.
A
female
reader, Becca64  +, writes (20 June 2010):
 if i were you, i wouldnt go to church if i didnt want to. she shouldnt force you to do any of that stuff that you dont want to do. she should respect you for everything you are, regardless of your sexuality. See if you can sit down with her and explain to her how you are feeling, that just cos you are not straight doesnt mean that any other part of you that she knows and loves has changed. you are still the same girl.
she should love you no matter who YOUU choose to love. that is your business and no one elses. i hope she comes round.
good luck, let me know how you get on.
good luck xx
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