A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what's up with this guy. I love him dearly. He's not the type to express those feelings unless he really and truly feels it. So supposedly he's in love with me too. Thing is, I'm starting to question his meaning of love. We used to talk all the time. Now not so much. Maybe once or twice a week now. It really bothers me becuase I think he doesn't care. Then when we are together he's telling me how much he loves me, how much he misses me, and talks of the kind of life he wants wtih me. What does that mean. This is really hard for me. Like he plans his future with me all the time. I've known him a really long time and we've had a lot of ups and downs. But we are together now, and I thought I stopped searching for Mr. Right. In alot of ways, he the man I've been dreaming of. But now that he rarely calls me, I guess I'm not so sure. I want to talk to him about it but starting to think it's not worth it. Feel pretty stupid sitting around waiting to hear from him. Should I just end this? All responses welcomed. Men especially - what do you think? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. I'll try to let my guard down. No use worrying anyway. I love him dearly and I do want this. You're right. I'll just try to enjoy this time with him. Thanks so much for your insight.
A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (16 November 2008):
 If you have had the talk and he says nothing is wrong then you have to believe...I mean really believe...that he is being honest. If you think he is Mr. Right, then appreciate him and accept that he isn't as communicative as you. But you must trust in the relationship or you will sabotage things in a self fulfilling proficy.
So, let your guard down and enjoy the relationship. If you don't, he will surely sense the pull in the opposite direction.
As time goes by, perhaps things will be more clear for you. Perhaps it is YOU who doesn't want this relationship, not him.
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell we had a talk. He sounded very reassuring and tried convincing me that I had nothing to fear. That he's always thinking of me and didn't think it was a big deal. But I still feel like somethings not right with my Mr. Right. I don't know how to relieve my insecurities. I know he cares alot for me and he's made so many sacrifices for me. But lately, something isn't right and I can't put my finger on it. I also think because he cares for me he doesn't want to hurt me and I can't get him to admit it. I want to think that this is just my imagination. But if he loves me and is always thinking of me, why do I feel it slipping away?
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (14 November 2008):
Let me know how the discussion goes. It is possible that you care more for him that he cares for you. The world is crazy these days. People don't need or want people the way they used to.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): hi,
when i want to be with somebody, I usually try to be around them, and if I can't, I at least let them know that I want to...
Put it on him. He could just be over it, and not have the guts to say it to your face. Which is why it's so great when he's around, and he's so aloof when he's not.
Love is shown, not said.
- just one guy's opinion
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Dearkelja - I do call. But when I'm doing all the calling, isn't there something wrong? Sometimes I wonder if he even notices when I don't call. When I do call and don't get him, that's when the waiting game starts. I'm more anxious to hear from him since now he doesn't call as much. I only hope that a conversation with him will be worthwhile.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (13 November 2008):
I think the two of you should have a discussion about how and when to communicate. You are feeling insecure about the relationship because you are not being communicated to the way you want to.
It could be he never thought it was an issue. He could well think things are just fine. Many men don't need to discuss things or even talk about them.
If he's 1/2 the Mr. Right you think he is then a conversation is worthwhile. And why can't you just call him?
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