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female
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anonymous
writes: I feel like im going mad. My ex split up with me a year ago now and im still not over it. Right after he split up with me I got very depressed and and cried alot but time was a great healer and my friends and family helped me through that. I knew I still loved him but I thought I could just learn to deal with it and carry on living my life without him. But now I hear he has a new girlfriend and its torn me apart. He really loves her and spends all his time with her none of his friends ever see him anymore. I cant handle the fact that he loves her because I know he didnt love me. Im too embarressed to speak to anyone about how I feel because I know all my friends think that Im over him. They would think I was wierd if I was still upset a year on. I just dont know why I cant get him out of my head, hes not the nicest person in the world, in fact he was really horrible to me when we were together. I honestly think there is something wrong with me mentally to be feeling this way and Im beginning to hate myself for being miserable all the time. I dont know how to get over it.
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female
reader, bemused  +, writes (25 April 2006):
 This does sound like a stressful and difficult situation. I can empathize because my partner of seven years left me and moved back to his hometown and met someone immediately. It is awful, not nice and hurtful but it is also one of those things that life just seems to throw at people. It is obvious that you are senstive and that you cared a lot for this man. It also sounds like you moved through the stages of grief and that you were starting to see ths sunny side of life again but the fact that your ex has met someone else made it hurt all over again. Do not beat yourself up over this. The challenge that you face now is realizing that this relationship is truly over but you are now free to meet someone who, yes, might think that you are the wonderful one. Continue to look to your friends and family for support. You say that you are embarressed to admit to friends that you are still upset but you might be surprised that they might understand. Be gentle with yourself. Sit tight. Time will heal. Good luck hun.
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female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (24 April 2006):
 Sorry this posted before I had finished!
It can sometimes take a long, long time to get over someone we have loved, and as you say time is a great healer. You say you still loved him even though you accepted that it is over between you. Did you somewhere at the back of your mind secretly hope you might get back together? I think the realization that he will not be coming back to you now he has met someone else has hit you hard. Don't be embarassed about this, learn to accept it and know that in time you too will meet someone else and be happy.
Start focusing on the negative side of your relationship, and why it finished insteaad of thinking about all the things that made you love him.
Convince yourself you're better off without him, believe me you will get over him eventually, you just have to let yourself.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (24 April 2006):
It can sometimes take a long, long time to get over someone we have loved, and as you say time is a great healer. You say you still loved him even though you accepted that it is over between you. Did you somewhere at the back of your mind secretly hope you might get back together? I think the realization that he will not be coming back to you now he has met someone else has hit you hard. Don't be embarassed about this, learn to accept it
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