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anonymous
writes: Is my boyfriend using me?Me and my b/f have been dating on and off for 3 years and because he used to live in the States it was quite difficult. Anyway while he went back there, they refused him entry into the country. Around Jan and he asked me to lend him £300.00 to sort out a couple of things. My mistake was that I had lent him money a couple of years ago and he hadn't paid back, claiming he had forgotten, which I know was total (bs). At the moment he's not working and is staying at his mother's house. He hasn't mentioned anything about the money and he doesn't want to spend any time with me. He came to my house a couple of days ago, claiming that he had to get back for 8:30-9pm. I didn't say a word to him and I haven't spoken to him because I'm so mad with him and I'm frustrated and I feel like I've been taken for a ride.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (7 April 2005):
 That's because, so far, you have been taken for a ride. Or rather, you've given him a free one.I can't see any of the normal give-and-take of relationships in your letter. He seems happy to sponge off whomever will allow it: you, the government, Mum... it's all good.What he doesn't seem happy to do is carry his own load, or pay his own way with things.Do yourself a favour now, and dump him. By the way he's treating you, you're not getting anything out of this arrangement. So far, he sounds like he'll take as much as you give, then push you for just that little bit extra.The fact that he now doesn't want to spend any time with you is just a bonus, really. It makes it that much easier to wash your hands of him.Honestly. Get rid of him. You deserve much, MUCH better treatment than this.
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