A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have a great relationship BUT I really think he has a great fear of commitment. he was hurt very deeply in his past. What can I do to to help him overcome this and show him that I will not hurt him. When things are going really well and things get very close he starts something stupid which lets him run away. ie we disagreed on an airport so he told me we dont think alike so we shouldnt be together. Is there anything I can do? We definitley love each other but I dont want to put time into a relationship thinking that I am wasting my time because he will never take it to marriage. He did ask me to move in with him within the first 3 months but I thought it was too soon. Perhaps I should have because then he would not be able to hide in his cave. Help. We are not kids Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (3 March 2009):
 If he has been hurt before then he probably needs a lot of reassurance so you need to keep doing this and eventually he will get the message that you won't hurt him. You need to lay your cards on the table and tell him what you need from this relationship and where you see it heading, when you are having this conversation listen to what he needs too. And you need to tell him that his arguing about small things is bothering you, tell him to stop this as it upsets you. X
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