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anonymous
writes: Dear Agony Aunt,My boyfriend and I have been going out for over a year and are really happy together. Everything in our relationship is going well and we have no complaints about anything, just the fact that we live 2 hours apart and only see each other at the weekends because of work.As we don't get to see each other very often, at Christmas, he decided to spend it this year with me and my family. I thought this was a great idea as we could spend time with each other and that I could introduce him to my whole family... Aunts, Uncles, cousins etc. He had already met my immediate family which seemed fine. However, it all went terrible...At first it was going well, but then no one really spoke to him or me and I began to suspect something was up. Then when my boyfriend went back home, it all came out. They told me that no one liked him, they thought he was rude and impolite. Turns out that even my immediate family didn't like him when I thought they already did. He had his moments, I'll admit, but no one is perfect! But I guess I've got used to it. The fact that we are culturally very different as well must have added to their dislike of him. Whats worse is that my boyfriend loved my whole family and thought they liked him and they were really friendly and kind!I'm really stuck now because I'm really close to my family and yet I feel that my relationship with my boyfriend could be the real thing. There have been relationships which my family haven't been "approved" of and have caused rifts in the family. I don't want that. I want to tell my boyfriend that my family didn't like him and that he should change. I know it'll hurt him and he won't feel that he needs to change for them, which is true.... but I don't want to be left out from my family because I have a boyfriend no one likes... Should I tell him or just ignore my family's ill feelings towards him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Jay, writes (30 January 2005): When I first showed my mum and dad my boyfriend they apsolutly hated him, but because I was happy with him they made him a member of our family and we're now engaged. So show your mum and dad how happy you are with him and maybe they will start to like him.
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