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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi, i'm a 21 year old gay guy and am so confused with regard to someone i'm falling for...He's a friend, but a new one who i met a month ago. He's recently out of a very long term relationship, and the break up was very messy as he found out he was cheated on numerous times throughout the relationship. Since we met, we've been in contact almost everyday, a week after i met him, i told him i should see him less as i thought i was starting to develop feelings for him, but he made it clear he didn't see me as more than a friend, but was starting to value my friendship to a point that he didn't want to spend less time with me. He kept contacting me after this, and i responded, and very soon things went back to normal and we became even more relaxed with one another than before.This friendship has materialised faster than any i've ever had and i'm really starting to fall for him. I find myself thinking about him for no apparent reason, and am not interested in other guys. He's been let down by people and blames himself and i don't want to let him down, but i'm really hung up over him, and the more i'm getting to know him, the more liking him, and the more i'm kidding myself saying i just see him as a friend...Do I tell him?B Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (19 December 2005):
 If you really love yourself then you would want honesty to be a priority in your life right? Then how honest are you when the two of you don't tell each other how you really feel. Start the relationship off right and be honest. You two all ready have it very hard because of your sexual preference. Don't add fuel to the fire by not laying the cards out on the table. If he doesn't like you then that's not going to change overnight and at least you could develop some sort of plan of action. I'd rather see you happy with someone than forcing a relationship that is dishonest. Falling for friends comes natural but being in love with them takes alot of work. You may have over tendencies to fall for him because of his past. Sorta of a fairy tale story. I used to dream that I would take pity on a prostitute and rescue her and she would be devoted to me. Alas, not true. discounting his past what does he have to offer you. Companionship? Ok that would work great but you'll never know unless you get on the honesty program with him. Good luck. Ed
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