A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, i missed my first few classes to do this... so im really hoping i will get some responses and feed back. Here is my story. So my cousin is in the national guard and he went off onto that 16 week training after boot camp. There he met a guy who practices the same religion as us and basically made a good friend in him. Ever since a week ago, i have been on the phone with this guy- texting constantly, sleepy conversations on the phone, and sometimes even falling asleep. Im starting to see how right he is for me. We have been talking about becoming and 'item' but im letting the decision be ultimately up to him. Just last night he explained to me all of the things that he will have to go through- first this 16 week training in TX, 2 weeks airborne school in GA, then he stationed somewhere- he is going to join this part of the military where he gets stationed all over the world from weeks at time. He says that he doesnt get out of the army until January 2013 and he only gets 30 days a year leave. Im really starting to like this guy a lot. I promised myself i would never do long distance again, but the more and more i talk to him, the more im feeling he is worthy of it all. Im already scared of loosing him... I want to 'be' with him before he leaves around the world. But- i am in MA. I dont know if i can get to TX for a weekend to have our moment of intimacy, and to be sure that we are both in this for good. My question is, how do you keep up in an army relationship? Ive thought, okay, 4 years? I go to college in the fall, so this will give me time to work on my education, fulfill my goals, be active, get healthy. Do they get to choose when they take their leave? Maybe he can do 2 weeks in the winter and two weeks in the summer...? We could get international phone plans. I dont know! Ive never done this before... Ive read other questions about girls afraid their man is going to cheat and . do all army men cheat!? Just ... tell me what you do to keep up in this sort of relationship. Can you visit him? How often do you stay in touch? How often do you see someone that has very minimal time of leave. Gosh... i dont know why i care so much this soon =/ Help? I could also use friends who are in this sort of thing as well, to suport eachother =)--------[Mod note: Thank you for writing to DC. In the future, we would appreciate it if you could write your posting in short paragraphs - like what we have done here for you. The objective is to make it very reader friendly. Thanks again and good luck]
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (16 April 2009):
 you must be really sure about thisi've had two relationships with army guys both never worked out.army guys can seem like the nicest guys in the world but they can also be the harshest!i'm not sure how it works with you guys but i don't think you can go up to see themthey normally get weekends off.but they can chose to come home.i found it tough in my first army relationship only saw him weekends but he was awful to me would never come to see me when he said but i'd just take it he was only home really Saturdays and went back sundays i was with him for 10 months but he never made an effort.some army guys do expect alot more!it'll be really tough you really have to think hard on this hun!don't give yourself the torture.the only thing you can do in this kind of relationship is keep yourself occupied im sure they do pick when they want leave but you just have to remember they only have 30 days a year.so can't take so much time.it's up to you if you are willing to try at this then go for it but you'll only be able to ring and text most days but it's difficult to actually get to see them in person.Hope this helps.best of luck
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