| A
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: hi i am a 21 year old male and have a really bad premature ejaculation problem. i can only last around 2-8 seconds in my partner and its ruining my life. i feel utterly hopeless and pathetic although my partner claims it doesnt bother her and never mentions it. i have tried doing pelvic floor exercises and have also tried the squeeze technique with no improvement what so ever. i think my problem is so bad it cant be cured naturally. I've read loads of info on the internet but mine is by far the worst case, i edjaculate upon entering theres definitly something wrong and it needs sorting out or im going to face a very long and painful life. i dont have the courage to go and see a doctor. id appreciate any replies at all.Thanks!
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male
reader, PHOBIA MAN  +, writes (2 January 2009):
before i go any further, bear in mind NATURE makes it so that when we were cavemen we had to get copulation over with asap because we are vulnerable to attack while doing it, I know we're not in dangerous times any longer but the ability is still there. As a caveman you be the main man dude, your genes would be the the ones to carry on. Now in modern times it is 'required' that we go at it for ages! but relax, you just need know that it's a mind thing.While having sex if you concentrate on (and fear)the feeling that you are about to come, your mind will aim toward it. We have a saying in my line of work (hypnotherapy) "you get what you focus on". are you saying to yourself when you 'enter' "I hope I don't come too soon"? or something similar? if so look at what your mind hears 'come too soon' so it brings it all the more quicker, get it? so next time be cool (i know you're just about to have sex and you are exited about it!)but take it slow and focus directly on actually talking to her (no sexy stuff though) look at her face and see every lovely feature, she will love the attention (keep focusing now!) move in and out very slow (remember it's hard to stop a speeding car)and just like driving if you feel like you're losing control just apply the brakes, get out, take a breather and get back in when the adrenaline has subsided. Remember many women can have an orgasm with manual stimulation so show her some gentle handywork in between, it's not like in the movies when they all seem to orgasm through penetration (get her to teach you her fave technique) TOP TIP! tell her that you need to learn to detect the very first feeing you get when you are about to come, and would she mind you just entering and moving til you feel it, then stop (pull out)5mins later do again and soon you will learn the very first feeling of coming so as you can stop or withdraw sooner (she'll be glad to help you, after all it's in her interest), TRUST ME you will soon be a cool lover! do your homework on that feeling though, ok?
A
female
reader, Hmmmmmm +, writes (2 January 2009):
have you tried masterbating prior to having sex? alot of men find that this can increase the length of time during sex. you could also increase the amount of time you spend on foreplay, so that should you ejaculate quickly, your partner can still feel satisfied. there are also a number of devices that can be purchased both from sex shops and over the internet that can increase the length of time you go.
should all else fail, please see your doctor. he will see this problem regularly and will be able to help you
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