A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my drunk ex husband had been married and divorced when I met him, he had 2 kids who lived with his ex and came to stay with us every weekend. I have one child with him. I left him after 3 years of marriage as he was a nasty alcoholic and who was abusive. His new girl friend and himself were violent to me and he never had any interest in our child so I left the area. He went on to have more children (5 by 4 different women). he is now married 3 times, lived with many women. I thought I had moved on, bear in mind my child has always cried for him and my pleas has not worked, my child has been seeing child psychology for years, he has damaged my child. My child's pain has me very sad. My child has harmed himself. doctors have contacted him but he has refused to come to see our child. My son found his siblings on facebook. saw them recently. one is married with 3 kids and loves my son and is seeing me. through her my son has seen 2 other siblings. My son's brother was getting married but did not invite my son as their dad did not want my son there. the irony of it is that he and his new wife 6 years ago were physically violent to my son's eldest sister. I was surprised that her mum invited him to her son's wedding. my son felt extremely sad that his brother did not invite him to his wedding. I love my ex step daughter but I am finding it difficult as every time we meet up she tells how bad he has treated her and she crys and so I. I have not told her about all the violence, physical and mental violence I got from him, as at the end of the day even if he has been vioent to her, he is still her dad. I never told my son anything bad about him, because of that he used to think that I was a bad person and I was the one not letting him see his dad. Now that he is seeing his elder sister, she has told him about all my effort of trying to get him to see our son. and what a bad dad he has been to her and her other siblings, she told my son about his physical violence to her and also not seeing her too (he saw her on and off) when it suited him, so he did with my son, whenever he did not have a woman. this has made my son more sad and angry, I told her that she should not said bad things about her dad to my son. however she has made a tremendous repair to my relationship with my son as now he knows that the truth is that his father rejected him and I was keen for him to have contact, I even wrote to MP and saw a solicitor about taking father to court to make him visit his son. the problem I am having my son is very emotional at the moment and I am now getting flashbacks of my ex-husband of all the nasty things he did to me. I thought I buried them.. My son's sister wants to see me and says that I was the best stepmum to her and wants to see me on weekly basis, but although I love her, I am finding it difficult as she keeps talking about what her dad did to her. we were in my son's girl friend house and someone asked why do I have brown eyes and olive skin and she is blonde with blue eyes, I said because I did not give birth to her, she corrected me and said you are my mum, you are my second mum, it does not matter that you didn't give birth to me but the 5 year I visited you, you were the best and gave me family home. as the other women were drunk and ignored her or forgot her and her brother in the pub.So people who meet her say that she is genuine and likes me a lot, but I feel that I do not want to be reminded of what he did to me for 5 years. I am so scarred that I have not dated anyone. I have severe depression, so does my son and does this sibling of my son.what has hurt me now that her full brother did not invite my son to his wedding under dad's instruction. she said it is not her brother's fault I say it is, it was his wedding, I feel that my son is being rejection and shunned. Their brain washes people against me, but she is the only one who does not believe him, as she says she remembers me for the 5 years she visited me.Should I continue to see her, I am madly in love with her children. so is my son. Her husband has told me that I am welcome to visit any time. She has spent a lot money on transport as we live 40 miles away from one another to visit us.She has made me feel good as I was treated like a criminal and I feel that by being forced to move 40 miles away, I was sent to exile.
View related questions:
alcoholic, divorce, drunk, facebook, his ex, money, my ex, violent, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2012): Family should be who you LOVE and who LOVE you back. Not who biologically birthed whom.
You, your son and your ex step daughter should consider yourselves a family but exclude the jerk who is at the center of all this and stop fixating on him.
Not saying anything bad to your son about his father isn't a good thing if it means you have to tell major lies and distort or hide the truth. Its not badmouthing your ex if its the truth.
|
