A
female
age
51-59,
*hellycg
writes:Hi everyone just an update the ex partner of mine is well and truely gone, however , before I ended it he proceeded to tell me that he wanted me to go to his swinging club party and wanted me to catch him in the act !!! he told me he went with a man and a woman at this club... what a low life and then said that we couldnt be together because we werent allowed because of everybody else. !!!i actually believe hes with another PERSON (could be a man or a woman) now suffice to say i have not contacted him at all , hes contacted me to say he will always be here for me no matter what - to which i ignored that text too... Now the thing im struggling with is that i feel such a stupid fool for believing him for his lies, for believing we could make a go of it, for helping him become his alter ego , for buying things for him ... im struggling with the thought hes with someone else, and struggling thinking it must be me with the problem ... xx
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (4 June 2012):
 Hi
Everyone struggles after a break-up, especially when the person we loved was not who we thought. We feel they let us down where in fact they are only human,good or bad, and humans are all different.
Its nobodys 'fault' his sexual preferances were so different to yours, they just were. Its no reflection on you in any way at all. Its like some people like Pizza and some don't.
Be brave and strong, carry on ignoring him, you don't NEED him in your life so do not let him back in. He has chosen his route, your free to pick yours now.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 June 2012):
 Why on Earth do you think his actions and behavior was something you "made" him do? THEY are ALL on him.
The only thing (from what you wrote) that may have been your "fault" was having trust in a man who didn't deserve it.
Honey, you picked a rotten apple. It happens. Sometimes you just don't know HOW rotten it is til you take that bite.
I am not sure I understand what you mean by :"what a low life and then said that we couldnt be together because we werent allowed because of everybody else." But honestly, at this point in time why even bother with ANYTHING he said? The guy is obviously a liar and a cheat.
Keep the no contact and accept that the only mistake YOU made was place your trust and feeling with a guy who just wasn't worthy. Learn from it and let it go. Let him do his "swinger" thing and YOU live life as YOU want. Find happiness and be glad it ended with this guy now, instead of weeks/months/years down the line or even worse after a kid or two.
Chin up, honey.
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