A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok I am so confused. I dated this guy for alittle over a year. He was my first love and our break up came out of no where. In the past he has gotten into trouble with DUIs. After we broke up he started dating my friend but that only lasted a month. Than he started calling me again and he apologized. While we were hanging out again he got another DUI and I told him that I would be there for him but I really didn't want go through again. We met after his first DUI. He lost his license and I drove him. It was hard for both of us. So I didn't want to go through it again. We weren't together but we were hanging out which didn't work. He kept telling me to see what happens and that he needed to be single right now. Than after I told him that he ended it and said he didn't see it going anywhere again and that we were definitely over. So I tried to move on and every once in awhile he would call me and it would all come back and I had to move on again. Than I hadn't talked to him in 6 months and he called out of the blue to see how I was doing. I mean this is the same guy who told me 'we couldn't be friends' and 'it would be difficult to hang out' so he had a girlfriend when he called that time so I couldn't figure out why he was calling. He was also figuring out what was going to happen to him for this second DUI. Than 2 months later he called me to wish me happy birthday and told me what was going on. I called him because he was going for work release so I wanted to give him my wishes. He sent me to voicemail. So I moved on. I don't call him because he confuses me and I don't want to be rejected by him again. Now 5 months later I have moved on and started hanging out with a new guy. And what do you know. He calls me again to say hi. And to tell me him and his girlfriend are having a baby. He told me he sent me to voicemail when i called because he was with her. Which I understand because I would be mad if my bf was talking to his ex. Now I don't know what to do because I still think about him and I can't seem to stop. I feel dumb because of all the things he has done. Why does it seem like every time I am happy and moved on he calls?So my question is what does he want? If he has a gf and he says he is happy and they are having a baby than why is he still calling me? I mean he only calls me every 5 to 6 months but still. He said we can't hang out or be friends. I am just so confused. Can someone help and give me advice.MJ
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2009): This is what I think. This guy makes some very bad choices and he doesn't learn from his mistakes. He has two DUI's which means he continued to drive without a licencse and worse he continued to drive drunk behind the wheel.....He also got his girlfriend pregnant without marriage and I am guessing he is not really able to support them..
He also is one of those guys who thinks he has a harem of girls, once you were his, you will always be his and he calls periodically because you are a part of his harem....it makes him feel like a man when he is with one woman most of the time.
He has a substance abuse problem and one more DUI on his record and he will be a Felon. Try getting a good job with that on your record....some employers won't hire you with one DUI on your record....so he has a long road ahead of him and he sounds like he doesn't have good sense.
You on the other hand are making bad choices in a boyfriend and cudo's for you for trying to move on. You are wasting your time analyzing the behavior of this guy and by keeping track of the events. What matters is how you feel, not what transpired. The guy is a loser or he wouldn't check in with you every 6 months....like I said he sees you as an extension of himself, his harem.
Don't waste a precious thought on him, and in the future don't call a guy you are just hanging out with a boyfriend, he is just a friend...period.
Change your phone number.
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