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anonymous
writes: A few months ago I broke up with my boyfriend. A couple of weeks ago we met at a bar, accidentally and we ended up sleeping together. The next day we both agreed that it was just sex because he didn't want to be in a relationship. Two days later, I realised I'd left something at his, so I asked if I could come get it. He said yes but I shouldn't get my hopes up because he had a new girlfriend. (I have since found out this was a lie). When Iwent round, he gave me my stuff with a bracelet which wasn't mine. I told him it wasn't mine and he said it was his new girlfriend's. But he never had one! Does anyone have any insight into why he did this and why he lied to me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2005): You broke up with your ex and recently you slept with him! so perhaps her he thinks maybe you still like him and he wants to hurt you like you hurt him or he might just be trying to show you that you're not the only woman in his life and there are women out there who want him too!
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female
reader, Bev Conolly +, writes (8 March 2005):
I don't think your having slept together after the break-up has that much bearing on what's going on here, except that he sounds like he wants you back and will take whatever you give.You say that you were the one who initiated the split, and I suggest that your ex is now staging an elaborate "cover" to show you that he's not only *not* hurt, but that he's as desirable as ever... so that he's already taken, with a new girl and a new relationship. So there! (You may have to imagine the sound of your ex blowing you a raspberry.)It's really kind of funny in a sad little way that he feels that he has to pretend about another girl so that he hopes you'll be jealous -- and, wow, if there really *was* another girl, wouldn't she be peeved that her supposed-boyfriend is giving away her possessions willy nilly?Sounds like he's hurt over the break up pretty deeply, so if you're not interested in reigniting an old flame, I'd give him a lot of space. For a start, don't sleep with him again, "strings attached" or not. In this case, even if you run into him, it's going to be kinder in the long run to smile, but don't stay.
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