A
female
age
41-50,
*sabellablaze
writes:he is my ex husband. We divorced last year. We had a child together but he took the custody of her.He was really wealthy, really good looking, had a nice body, was quite well known and quite successful at his job.However he had been cheating on me repeatedly before and after marriage(cuddling,,making girls sit on his lap,getting kissed or kissing girls on cheeks,thrashing his friend publicly for her sex life). I didn't bother a bit about his repeated cheating,his words or statements,or that he did drugs when he was 25-26,i just called the ambulance after he stopped breathing after overdose,because I was happy in my luxurious lifestyle and hung out with my friends most of the time as he wouldn't be at home much.as job had him on road most of the time.More than the custody(as he wanted a child as quickly as possible before marriage and he loved the child), it's his remarriage and his treatment of his new wife that angers me.He married this girl whom he had been seeing since last two years. This girl is a decade younger than him (hardly 25, ex is 36) and he is so nice to her!He's changed so much.He cares for her to bits. He doesn't cheat, ever since he met her two years ago.He holds so her so closely while they pose for pictures when he never held me ever by the waist!My friend told me that she overheard him telling his mates that his first marriage was one of his biggest mistakes of his life except for our child, that it was waste of his years he spent hooking other woman and with me, that he loves his new wife so much, how she showed him what love was, how she is his soul mate.His wife had never slept with him while we were married. And she had given him a harsh lecture about love and fidelity as well.They hang out together, are always happy and talking (when we rarely spoke to each other more in public!), holding hands, she is always cuddling with him; he is always looking at her. I mean this girl doesn't even care about spending time with her friends,shes mostly with my ex and our daughter.What and how???i used to be a gym instructor but i gave it up since he had so much money that i didn't need to work.i would go with him to lavish events and parties but he wouldn't get photographed with me and would leave him somewhere and start talking to other people.even if he did he would never hold me by the waist,no contact at all,while he poses so intimately with this girl.Additional Detailsbefore he married me he wanted a baby quickly and had already picked baby names.he loved the child and she loved him too,giving him chains like i love you daddy.they are inseparable.she was never close to me as she is with him.shes 6 years old.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): Aside from all the other stuff, I really think you do have a responsibility to try and raise this child with some good values. Try and ignore this mans shallow behaviour and think of ways that you can install some good sense, values and ethics into your child. I do feel you are in a difficult position considering you perceive his 'public' value is worth more than yours. However I would consider applying for custody you have nothing to lose. On the grounds that the child needs to have a stable loving home with her own mother.You may be surprised, he sounds quite narcisstic - if he gets to see her and lavish her with presents but doesn't have to put the real work in he will probably be happy with that - so long as he knows he still 'looks good' publically.Your daughter deserves to get to know and value what real time and real love is like, not pretension and ego based love. Be strong - go for it - I suspect that this is what this is really about - the self confidence to do the right thing. You can do it. Arm yourself with a good plan and see yourself winning.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): It sounds like you wanted the lifestyle he could give you more than him and your daughter. Maybe he felt neglected and nothing more than a cheque book?
I would stop watching him, stop focusing on his new life, stop going over old memories - which seem to be nothing but bad ones.It didn't work out, it happens.
Get out there and work hard, live well and date, there will be a man somewhere,for you, who will put his arm round your waist and gaze into your eyes......but not if your still hooked on what your Ex is doing.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 February 2012):
 I guess you just needed a little rant because I don't see what you are asking the aunts/uncles. I hope you can get back into the gym instructor field again soon. It will help you focus on your own life and less on the ex's new marriage.
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