A
female
age
41-50,
*eylock
writes:I have been dating this guy for about 6 years and we love each other (I know I do, not quite sure where he stands any more). The problem started 2 years ago when he started cheating on me with this girl. We broke up and got back together and things are fine, no cheating or anything like that. It's been about a year now and you could say things are great. The problem is when he was cheating on me he lost his phone and the ex-gf gave him her old phone.Until today he still uses it, when i say something or complain it seems like it's falling on deaf ears. My question is - why is he holding on to that phone? Is he hoping that they will get back together or What? I really love this man but this is hurting my feelings so much. Do I break up with him because he doesnt want to let go and at the same time hurt myself so much? I have thought of breaking up with him for good so many times but I don't have the strength to.I know if I do I will fall apart. Just writing this my eyes are filled with tears.I really need help on this.So many people have advice me to break up with him because they say "he is just not into me anymore".Love is complicated and very taxing.
View related questions:
broke up, get back together, got back together Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): I doubt that he is holding onto the phone for any sentimental reason, it is a phone, not a piece of jewellery. As the others have mentioned, it is more likely that he thinks it is a good phone and has no reason to get rid of it.
There is a good chance that he has moved on from the past relationship, but judging by your emotions, you have not.
You need to look at how you can forgive him and put the past behind you, if you cannot, then you may have to move on from him.
Some people can get over an affair, a lot of people cannot. His indiscretion obviously hurt you and it seems he has lost your trust. Can you talk to him honestly? Does he listen to your fears?
A
female
reader, rambini  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 To be honest, i think you are probably over-reacting if him having the phone is all that is bothering you. men are not sentimental creatures generally, so i really can't imagine he is clinging onto the phone for any sentimental reason. its just a phone.
if it bothers you that much, buy him a new phone. then he has no excuse for using the one his ex gave him.
But i think you need to get a little bit of perspective on this situation, if it is just him having the phone which is causing you this anguish, maybe you need to step back from the relationship and take some time out for yourself. It probably gets on his nerves when you nag him about the phone, so he is just keeping it to be stubborn.
you are risking losing a good relationship over this phone, it really doesn't seem worth it. just relax a little, he has chosen YOU and is with YOU. If he didn't want to be, he wouldnt be.
best of luck xx
...............................
|
