A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My ex contacted me and we’re in touch again. It has been many years. The last couple of times I ignored him. This time he was grieving and I reached out. He says he’s alone and will never be in a romantic r again. It has been overwhelming hearing a lot of news and grieving too. I’m not sure what is going on and why he keeps contacting me. I’ve been very ill and have not dated at all for years. I’ve never loved anyone but him. There are a lot of things that I need to express about what happened and I think this may be my last chance before it’s too late. But it is surreal to me now to be in contact again. Im glad he did reach out again though. I was praying that he would. I’m pretty sure he is bipolar and there were a-lot of issues, but it was like a death at the time since he changed suddenly. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (31 October 2017):
 This doesn't sound right at all.
I'm sorry to hear that you've not been well.
As your story speaks, it appears you're both not cut out for each other, hence the reason that you broke up in the first place.
When a relationship works well, there is never any need to have a temporary break or even a big break, because it just works and flows well.
Your ex has reached out to you in his time of grief, of need and vulnerability, that's it.
You too, haven't been well and it's only natural that you'd both like and enjoy each other's company once again.
HOWEVER, you must not read too much into this.
He's not re-connecting with you, because he wants anything more concrete.
Men are men and he obviously likes you, otherwise he'd not be making contact again, however, it isn't for the reason/s you may think.
You are both finding current and convenient comfort in each other at the right time.
There is a reason that he became your ex and you his.
SOME THINGS DIDN'T WORK, hence your break up, so these things, will again resurface at some point in the very near future, then you're both back at square one.
You've both moved on and you should keep it that way and primarily for your own sake.
You should protect yourself from any more heartache, especially as you're dealing with your own health concerns at present.
You don't want/need any more added pressures do you?
You should make a final decision about whether or not it's a good idea to maintain this contact with your ex.
You know that your ex's behaviour wreaks of vulnerability and he is definitely using you as his sounding board and why?
Because he may not have anybody else to go to, especially a person that he feels comfy enough sharing his feelings with.
You were the pick of the crop for him, but again, this phase won't last forever.
Once all's back to normal and ok again on his end, you may just be history.
Don't allow yourself to be your ex's doormat.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (28 October 2017):
 It seems to me that neither of you is the right one to support the other. You have been ill and not dated for years. He might be bipolar.
It may be that he just needs a shoulder to cry on, and for you, a man has conveniently come along when you need one.
I would think carefully about your choices.
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