A
female
age
41-50,
*o-confused
writes:Hi all,my ex boyfriend of 6 months ago (whom I dated for a year) treated me horribly during our relationship. Eventually he dumped me over the phone because according to him "he didn't love me, he was just with me because his mum thought I would make a good wife" and in the first few months since our break up he taunted me with cruel messages threats and insults. Recently he posted a really cruel message on a public page on facebook. It read something along the lines of "I saw your profile on a dating site haha you can't get a guy haha."Seeing that this is on a public page, my new boyfriend will probably notice this message. I really don't want to talk to him about my ex at all...but I feel that I need to explain this to him because I have not been on any dating sites since we have been together. Should I do this???Secondly, what do you think my ex is trying to achieve from this??? I have never done anything but treat him like a king; he left me and blames me for the bad rep he has acquired for how he treats women. His message is really playing with my mind...Does he hate me THAT much that he feels the need to humiliate me????
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Loiselle  +, writes (12 July 2011):
 True, Red Athena
And even he may not know his own motives -- or be interested in his motives!
So yes, try not to waste time on this. Though I know it is tempting to "solve a puzzle" -- this one may never have a solution.
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (11 July 2011):
 Only he really knows why. Do not waste time trying to figure it out.
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A
female
reader, so-confused +, writes (11 July 2011):
so-confused is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all, I have completely ignored my ex and his stupid messages. He has been blocked from my facebook and I have printed out all of his dumb messages in case they continue. I have also spoken to be new bf about this because I felt that its important to be honest with him and make it clear that I am not encouraging any of this.
Why the hell is my ex doing this??? He's the one who told me to leave him alone months ago and I have. now he decides its ok to write humiliating things about me. Why???
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2011): BLOCK HIM AND PUT YOUR PROFILE APGE IN PIVATE AS WELL AS YOUR PICTURES BE WARY OF ANY NEW FRIEND REQUEST AND REEVALAUTE WHO IS ON YOUR FRIEND LIST.
Sorry for the caps but please do this!! when some is obsseivve like this and he sees u ona dating site and stuff its because you ar enot being careful on th enet and hhe can stalk u!
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A
female
reader, Loiselle +, writes (10 July 2011):
Don't wasted any more emotional or mental energy trying to figure him out.
Ignore, ignore, ignore...eventually he will find someone else to abuse (unfortunate, but true).
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 July 2011):
 Your ex looks like a Grade A jackass now. Remember, his messages are reflecting on him, not you. He blames you for the bad rep that he acquired for how he treats women, and then posts crap about you on a public page? What a moron!
Nobody can make you feel humiliated without your permission. Block and ignore him, and he will dig his own grave. You have a new boyfriend now, so he is nothing but gum on your shoe. Chances are, your new BF will want to have words with the ex for hurting you.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (9 July 2011):
You need to detach from him in ALL ways. Stop giving him so much power over YOU.
The best revenge is the well-lived life.
YOU determine the value of YOU. Not him.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (9 July 2011):
 Print off all his abusive posts, and then use your block button, and set your privacy high enough so that the only people who can read your wall and see your posts and pics are those people on your friends list. Cull that list while you are at it.
And then just ignore him. he will go way when he realises he isnt getting a reaction.
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