A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I'm sorry if this is long, but I would really like some help! Three months ago my boyfriend of nine months broke up with me because his ex girlfriend came into his life again. This girl left him for another guy and was his first love, I guess he never really got over her. In the past three months they were together, then they didn't work out, and now they are together again! Not official as in facebook official, but I've seen his car at her house and he's told me about them hanging out. The thing is, he still acts like he really cares about me... I see him at least once a week because he still comes to my college small group at church... last night we had small group and normally its from 6-8 but he and I stayed until ten just talking and singing and playing the guitar. Stuff we did when we were dating. He always makes eye contact with me and when he gives me hugs they're bigger than the ones he gives to others. He makes fun of me and we're sarcastic back and forth, sometimes almost flirty but not overboard. He almost always answers if I call or text him. And last week during the middle of the week he randomly texted me and asked me if I wanted to hang out with him at the beach. So I know he doesn't want me out of his life... and when we broke up he made a point of saying that I was the one person that he really connected with and that he always wanted us to be friends... I also told him that I thought we would be together again one day and he didn't reject the idea, but also didn't right out agree becasue of this other girl. I thought he was just pulling the friends line to be nice but obviously not when he's kept up the contact. I also babysat for his dad last week... he still has my toothbrush and stuff in a closet from when I used to stay the night, not that it necessarily means anything. Basically though, what I would like to know is how to stay out of the 'just friends' zone. We had an amazing relationship and his feelings for me were very strong so I think at some point he could feel them again, just not as long as his other ex is in the picture. But I love him very much and would really like to be with him again one day... I just don't want to let jealousy and such mess things up.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): I Think you should let him come to you. If he can't put all other people aside for you then he doesn't love you. It would be fine for him and his ex to still be friends but believe me i know it would be hard for you if you and him were together.
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