A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have been in a relationship with this guy for almost 2 months now, and about 2 weeks ago we were having sex and his penis just got soft. He completely satisfies me sexually, I mean he even makes me squirt. He tells me that it is a turn on for him and that he really enjoys it. Ofcourse when his penis got soft, I got really offended and hurt. I asked him what is wrong with me? What is it that he doesn't like? He told me it isn't me and he does not know what it is. WTF? I mean doesn't your brain control your penis? Ok, so he used the excuse that it is pain in the legs and he is worried about getting a job.So, I told him not to worry he will get work and he did 2 days later.so, yesterday we had sex. He leaves for work and calls me 10 minutes later, asking me if i am with someone else and that after 2 days of no sex I should have been tighter. WTF????! I txted him and told him, I am sorry I can not make you happy and that my vagina is too "loose" for you. I went home last night and he is there, I didnt say nothing to him and he kept apologizing. This morning we have sex again, and ofcourse I make him work for it with a struggle, he is rock solid ALL night long and as soon as he takes my pants off his penis goes down! Ok, I let that one slide because he said he had to pee. He comes back we start having sex and after 5 minutes he gets soft! I start crying because he is making me feel like its all me. He tells me it isnt that he really enjoys sex with me and he doesn't know what it is. So I do oral, get him hard have sex and as soon as he sticks it in he goes down. This happened like 5 times...OK... I have never had any issues with a man getting turned on by me, my vagina is not loose I know it isn't, I have wonderful orgasisms to the point where I squirt, I get VERY wet and I have wonderful body features. No odd smells, smooth skin, nice butt, nice breast and I consider myself very attractive. SO what could be causing him to not stay hard? He says this is this the first it ever happened! Please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, zhivagoz +, writes (16 September 2014):
It's either one or both of two things:1) He has anxiety about performing.2) Sex is boring for him now. Too "regular".
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (13 November 2009):
No, your brain does not control your penis. As near as I can tell nothing controls a penis. You need to read up on this. The advice below is good, the things you are doing are only making the problem worse.
FA
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 November 2009):
He's worried about it now. He may have had some stress, and now it's really got to him because you've blamed yourself and he feels he has to perform. The male erection doesn't respond well to stress and anxiety, so he's now having problems. There is nothing at all wrong with you or him, and you have to stop saying that there is or this will get worse. Spend time making him feel relaxed again and have confidence in yourself. There's nothing wrong with you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2009): Its probably caused by anxiaty... (i cant spell) but you having a go at him is not going to makew things any easier... or harded if you excuse the pun.
He has the worry of loosing an erection on the back of his mind when you are having sex... and because of this thats exactly what happens.
All you can do is take thinks slowly for a while... dont rush him. Play around with eachother for a few days/weeks without actually having sex etc... let him get his confidance back.
What he said to you was wrong, he shouldnt expect you to be tighter after two days of not having sex... thats just wrong... But i suspect he said it as he feels his male ego is damages by him going soft... its a very touchy subject for me.
Bottom line is... take the preshure off and slow thigs dow abit... you both need to relax. If it happena again done get funny about it, its nothing to do with you, i can promise you that.
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