A
female
age
30-35,
*tsybitsy
writes:So I've started to date this guy I knew since we were young. I didn't see him for more than seven years and one day he added me on facebook so we started talking and eventually to date. I admit at first that I wasn't comfortable to date again as after being single for a year and a half I was getting used to it. But he was so sweet to me and he won my heart over. He has been a gentleman in every sense. After a few weeks he started to say he liked me a lot and he wanted a serious relationship. At all of this I tried to be at my coolest and not to show I was ecstatic about it. But one day while I was lying in his bed, his ex started to send him texts to his phone. I asked what happened since I noticed his mood change. He told me that she was jealous because she found out he was dating another girl. And that actually she made a scandal while he was studying with his pals at campus the day before. I only kissed him and told him to just ignore her. He hugged me kissed my forehead and we went back to sleep.After that day, he has not called me or written anything. It's been three days. I don't know what to think about it.I know that he's been away from his ex for eight months. And that they broke up because she cheated on him. But now she's back.I'm scared I think I might have fallen for him and I don't want to loose him. I need to do something. Don't know what though.
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female
reader, itsybitsy +, writes (16 March 2011):
itsybitsy is verified as being by the original poster of the question So I talked to him and he says that he doesn't want to hurt me because he loves me but that he is not in love with me. He says that he knows he definitely does not want to go back with his ex but that he feels he needs time for himself and be single... He said that he still wants to see me and he hopes that eventually we could have something because he feels he could truly love me. He said its my decision to make if I stay or not. So yeah my heart says stay and my brain says RUN!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011): TRUST ME when I say him talking to an ex is no good, especially one that had a dramatic history and wasn’t a mutual falling out sort of thing. I literally just asked a question on here about my similar situation. I tried to be understanding and figured if he's really over her, he'd walk away on his own. Truth is you'll always feel something for someone you gave a lot of yourself to, you'll always be able to pick them out of the crowd. Especially if she was the one who wronged him she might just want to fix what she screwed up and had she not, he would still be with her. I say the first thing you do is give it another day or so and then if he still doesn't contact you find a way to talk to him, ask him why he hasn’t and be honest about how nervous you are with what's been going on. In fact, just find a way to bring it up regardless. Communication and a sense of trust really are the two most important factors in a relationship. Just be gentle with your wording and take extra special care to not make it sound like an accusation. Tell him he can be honest with you and that you’d be willing to help him work through his feelings should he say there is still a sore spot for her if that‘s something you think you can do. You can’t just keep brushing it off because the insecurity and suspicion will just build up and you’ll just stress yourself out. I honestly believe if you guys are that serious you might consider asking him to stop talking to his ex all together, it shouldn’t be that hard seeing as he was the one who got hurt and no good can come of it for you two if she‘s interested in reeling him back in. That’s the best advice I can give. I really hope everything gets worked out!
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