A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have hung out with a guy for the past month. Honestly, i had messaged because i felt that i would be able to get a kiss out of him. we hung out, and he did kiss me. Later that night i admitted to him that i didn't like him. i had told him before i didn't like him and i was sticking with it. We made out on his couch before i left that night. he was hesitant to let his hands wander. I told him i didn't trust him. The more we hung out the more i started to trust him and actually like him. i saw that he really cared about the people around him and that he was just trying to pull off the bad guy act. he cared, and i liked that. After night 3 i admitted that i did like him. i had actually tried to go down on him that night but he stopped me. he said i would regret it. well, the last time we hung out he was still hesitant to touch me. we were cuddling on the couch and he would pull his hands up and start i guess flexing them. he was trying not to touch me even though he wanted to. i told him he had done it before so why would it matter. he said just because it was okay then does not mean it is okay now. i kept on trying to get his hands on my breasts but he kept pulling away. well we got intimate after kissing. Then afterwords we went upstairs to eat and came back down and talked. the whole reason i had even come over was so we could talk and try to figure things out. find out where we were at. i got mad. and then admitted to him that i had been upset about a message i saw on his phone the other night. I knew he knew i had seen it but i was to upset to say it, in hopes that he would. anyway when i mentioned it and i told him what the message had said he said that he needed to tell me about this girl. He told me that he had been in love with this girl for years, he told me that if god was a woman he would leave god to be with this girl. for some reason i saw that as a challenge. sad i know. all of a sudden i was about to leave for some other reason. i don't remeber why. and he somehow we eneded up hugging by the door and he started kissing me like he had never before. with so much passion. he touched me without the hesitation he had before. in the middle of it i get up to use the restroom. when i come out he is dressed and is saying that his mom is coming over and that i need to get out. at first i believed him and i grabbed all my clothes and ran back to the bathroom and as i was heading back he kissed me. as i got dressed i realized there was no way his mom could have contacted him. his phone had no signal, and i did not hear the landline ring. even fb was a far fetched. i realiezed he just wanted me out. and so i left. he looked at me and sincearly said he would talk to me latter. i knew it was a lie, and i'm sure he knew i knew. he then blocked me on fb.the reason we needed to talk was because i just recently moved an hour and a half away from where he is at, or well my previous home. after this semester of college he will be moving out of the state. i had asked him before what he wanted from me and he said idk.my question is: why did he just cut me off so suddenly? was he just trying to get in my pants and then change his mind?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbut in the end you both are right. he just wasn't into me. thanks :D
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe had met during school hours inbetween classes. This was maybe over 6 months ago. At the time i was in a relationship. He wanted me to hang out with him and a group of friends. I then told him i was taken. he said he didn't care. And i asked him if he meant he was going to try to get with me any way, he said no. so i figuered he didn't like me and hung out with him and his friends. i had fun, but things got a little weird when he had admitted that he liked me but knowing i had a boyfriend made him feel bad. He told me he had wanted to kiss me and had so many chances to do so but didn't. i guess for respect to who is now my ex.
After that night i avoided him for a few days but since he had left his stuff in my car i knew i had to give it back because he would need it for class.
A little later we started talking again. he thought i hated his guts because he wouldn't let me go home that night. i was sleepy and he didn't want me driving until i had a bit of sleep. he didn't give me my keys until 4 am and it got me introuble with my parents. (my parents are really strict). and i guess he thought i blamed him. it was my choices that had put me in that spot not him.
well we had been messageing through fb every now and again. he was the one who tended to message me. That was where he asked me if i liked him. and i said no. Part of me thought he didn't like me either. especially after he told me that said guy said he wasn't attracted to me. My confidence had been torn down because i was so sure said guy was into me, but i was wrong. and i hate being wrong. i'm so scared of being wrong.
The first night we hung out this summer was going to be with one of his friends other friends i had not met. The guy ended up taking his car. in some sort of misunderstanding. and we headed back to the friends place hoping he would be there, but he wasn't. after that we headed back to his place in more hopes that he would be there. His friend was already in a lot of trouble so he couldn't really do anything.
The following time we hung out it was with a couple, he said he wanted me to come with him because he didn't want to be the third wheel.
my point is, he was not someone i had just met. He gave off this bad guy vibe i did not like and when i got to know him a little more inbetween or after classes i saw he was a whimp, but after i hung out with him, i saw how much he cared. i didn't want to let go of his bad boy outside because i didn't want to trust him. he has such a complicated life. but he is also very honest with me. or at least i fell for what i thought was honesty. but why lie about trying to sleep with another girl after thinking that i waas out of the picture. seeing that i told him after the second time we hung out, it would be the last. i mean i was movin, my parents were coming back from vaca. i just didn't see it happening.
at that point i had still been in denial about liking him. The thing is, he knew he could have gotten something with no feelings attached, but he continued to nudge me about me not liking him. and not trusting him. he kept on saying that he thought i did. if you want sex why not just get it from the first night. or why didn't he tell me from night one that he didn't like me either, instead of telling me that he did like me.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 August 2014):
 Because he wanted sex, not a GF and he was smart enough to figure out if he HAD sex with you, you would want a relationship.
And, he just isn't into you at all.
Instead of being so adamant about "not liking" a guy when you first met, how about you get to KNOW them (and I don't mean through sex) but GO OUT and do things together. NOT spend the evening on the couch. That is not how to "get to know" anyone.
Just take your time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2014): His just not into you.
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