A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:What is wrong with me? will I ever get over him? :(?I loved my ex bf so much. He was sweet, romantic and just lovely. He said he loved me too. But he broke up with me saying he didn't want a relationship anymore. I was devastated. We got back in contact and he said he missed me so much, he's thinking about me when he's with other girls.He said we can be really good friends. He'd still ring me everyday, go shopping, hold my hand like we were still together.But I told him, we shouldn't speak anymore cos I need to get over him. He said he'll leave me alone if it will make me happy.I've tried. Got a job, meeting new guys, spending time with my friends and family. But nothing seem to work. I can't get him out my head. Everything reminds me of him. So much memories. I just want him to hold me again:( Is been 5months. Will I ever get over him?Thanks..x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2011): Sometimes it takes a long time. It can be really hard. I'm so sorry that you're going through this, but you have to go through the pain to heal from the experience. There's no way to speed it up; it will just happen on its own. One day, you'll suddenly realise that you haven't thought about him in a long time, or that you're interested in someone else- or you'll see him somewhere and it will be a little awkward and weird, but it won't hurt anymore. Then he'll be just some guy that you used to date. One thing that makes it a bit easier is to inject some change in your life. A breakup is a really good time to change jobs, take up a new hobby or sport, go back to school, or even move- to get you doing things that don't remind you of him, to give you something else to focus on, and to help you become more fulfilled so that when you are ready to get back out there, you'll be well-rounded and interesting, not sad and boring. Oh, and not seeing him is a REALLY good idea. You shouldn't see him at all for 6 months AT LEAST. Or, wait until after you're completely over him to see him, and then wait another month after that to be safe.
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor  +, writes (3 September 2011):
 Well it's still relatively early for you to get over him. You're still fresh off the break-up. I think you should delay being friends with him for the time being. You need to "recover" sort of speak. The more you continue to be friends with him, talk, and hang out, the more you will want to be with him- despite the fact that you're meeting new guys and having a job to occupy most of your time.
Ask for the time to get yourself together, and work on bouncing back from the break-up. And when the times is right, and you feel emotionally stronger, you can be friends with him again. Just don't hold hands- and do the things you use to do when you two were together. :^)
Hope this helps!
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