A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i was just wondering what people's opinions are of this and if they think it would ever work. Basically i'm a pretty average girl, not particularly popular but have loads of good friends, i'm quite clever and focused at school and stuff, but lately i've been going through a bit of a rebellious patch - nothing major, i think its just the stress of exams and parents etc - and last week i went to a party and met this awesome guy. Loads of people (who don't know him very well) have told me to stay away from him cause he like smokes and drinks and stuff (i know that sounds really dodgy but he's actually a lovely person). Do you think i should listen to them or follow my heart? Also, if you think the latter, how can i let him know i like him? Thank you everyone. x
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male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (13 May 2011):
People can be very judgemental. People can also know things from experience.
Drinking and smoking might not be good habits, but they don't make someone a bad person. On the same hand, a guy who is awesome at a party can turn out to be an awesome guy in relationships or an awesome guy who uses his awesomeness to attract girls, but treat them badly and not be very kind to women. The way to avoid bad judgements is to make use of time. Getting to know someone over a longer period of time will let you know what kind of person they truly are. Also, it takes time for you or anyone else to form an accurate judgement, but I would advise you to use your own judgement over other people's. Your own judgement, if it is generated over time, is more valuable than other people's opinions. If you like him, take some time to get to know him, but take things slowly. Time will reveal his true nature.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 May 2011):
Truthfully, listen to the other people. They're telling you the truth - he's bad news.
From your post, you're coming across as a girl who isn't all that confident, and is just suffering from stress at the moment. That's bad - people who are underconfident and suffering from stress usually start to lower their standards or make mistakes in choosing partners.
You say loads of people who don't know him think he's bad. I say that loads of people can't be wrong.
I think you should listen to the warnings and stay away from him.
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