A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Everyone keeps telling me that my bf will dump me and leave me and just want sex, is this true? Should I listen to them?Basicaly whats happened is that when my bf and I first met he wanted sex early in the relationship, but I didnt because I beleive in waiting until you are in a long term commited and loving relationship. My bf however, he has a history of casual sexual relationships, which I am ok with, as long as he respects my choice to want to wait. He has also slept with prostitutes in the past which my friends say is a big warning sign. Although he said he was ok with me wanting to wait at first, he continually tried to pressure me into it and manipulate me to change my mind. This went on for months, to the point where he dumped me because I wouldnt give in. We broke up for about a month and he went away on a holiday. During this time he was always messaging me. When he came back home he apologised and said he realisd what was important and it wasnt sex, it was me. He said I was worth waiting for and he would wait however long it took. He just wanted to be with me he said.I took him back...but with still with some worries about how sincere he was. I coudlnt and still dont understand waht changed his mind. However things seem different since we are back together...he hasnt tried to pressure me at all. its like he really does respect me and my choice to wait now. But my friends are still negative adn say i shoudlnt trust him and that when i least expect it he will turn into his old self again. Can i trust him or not?By the way we are both in our mid 20s and have been together for 9 months now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): I agree I don't like his past and I don't like that he has been with prostitutes and I don't like that he broke up with you because you wouldn't have sex....and he pressured you for months...all of that is negative.
The thing is sometimes players change, sometimes they can when they start to grow up and realize what is important, and you have stood your ground and are probably the first girl he has run up against that has done that and he is repecting you by not pressuring you...The thing is, though it is pretty easy for a guy to be on his best behavior for a short while and if you just got back together like a month ago, it may be a ploy because he wants to win....so I think you should trust your instincts and if you aren't comfortable or completely trust him then don't have sex.
Nine months is a pretty long time to wait, I will give him that. Has he been a good boyfriend to you otherwise? Really, only you can know about him, I never met the man, and your friends are trying to protect you and I guess you might want to heed their warning if you think they see something in him that you just can't....
It's kind of a tough call, there aren't any guarantees that you won't get hurt in the game of love, you just gotta go with your gut and hope for the best.
Has he made a committment to you, are you two exclusively dating and has he been faithful, is he moving the relationship forward and being a good boyfriend? Have you met his friends? Do you like and trust his friends? Has he met your family, your family will get a good or bad vibe from him, so if you haven't taken him around them, then do so...
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