A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I went out with a guy for a loooong time and we broke up three and a half years ago because it wasn't working out. this was mainly because we were quite young and at uni so living in different places. we stayed in touch and i guess i've never really got over him. he went travelling recently and i literally could not stop thinking about him the whole time. i haven't seen him for almost 2 years anyway but the feeling that he was so far away from me made me miss him even more. i kind of have a feeling he might feel the same about me - that i'm his 'one', as he's joked about things like 'when he proposes to me' and 'when we get back together' in the last year. i'm seeing someone else at the moment and he's great but every guy i go out with is always in my ex's shadow. people keep telling me i should just get back with my ex because we're retarded for each other, but to be honest it never really worked. we had this crazy passionate cathy and heathcliff thing going on where we were always fighting, there were always tears, we both kissed other people, he never called, etc. he's not a bad guy at all, just possibly not the greatest boyfriend in the world and perhaps not a great match for me - we're both pretty firey. so i worry that if we did try again it would be a nightmare and i don't think i want to put myself through all that again 'just to see'. at the same time i imagine him ending up with someone else and feel like my heart might actually stop beating. he's just so funny and clever and interesting and made for me. help, i'm a mess.
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female
reader, johannabanana  +, writes (19 July 2010):
 The truth is you two love each other... You already know you do deep down and so does he. When people are passionate , but they fight a lot it isn't the fighting that matters. What matters is that you are always able to come back to each other and forgive each other. If no one else you meet can compare to him the clearly you don't want anyone else. If you never try things with him again you will only continue to be unhappy. Don't make a mistake of waiting to act until it is too late. And it you two are friend then there clearly is some good chemistry between the two of you and it isn't just physical.
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