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male
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anonymous
writes: I've always have this problem in my relationship.Why do girls Always keep in contact with their ex's?Even when they are in a relationship with someone they would still always hang outwith their ex. I'm not saying every girl does that, but alot do... I mean, why are they still lingering with their ex's when they are in a relationship with someone. Don't they ever think about how their bf would feel when they know that they are still hanging out with their ex? Although, some of you would say how even if you are in a relationship you have yourown right to be friendswith whoever you want... blah blah blah... But i don't really agree to a certain extent. In my opinion, if you are in a relationship and love that person, you would always want to make them happy and want them to trust you. And although some will say they chose you because they love you not the ex and just want to be friends with him... Deep down, NOBODY would want their partner to still have contact with their past lover nobody... Therefore, if you are in a relationship and love that person, i believe you would want to make them happy and would in your own doings not see your ex or have anything to do with them.However this is not the case for most of the female i've seen or been with, i just don't get why though.... Are they just not committed to their love ones? are they just not ready for a serious relationship? or do they just care much about their bf???Hopefully someone can give me some answer... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, miss help +, writes (22 October 2006):
 maybe when broke up they agreed to be friends. If you think anything else is going on then talk to her and make sure nothings going on.
A
female
reader, sugapuff  +, writes (22 October 2006):
 if you like someone enough to go out with them its such a waste to just never speak again cause the relationship doesnt work out!
im only friends with exs i dont have any feelings left towards sexually or any bad feelings cause it ended badly!
given a while to get over it its nice to be able to stay friends!
Ive met exs of my boyfriends and ive never minded unless there was a weird vibe between them and youl know straight away whats what if their ex is unfriendly towards you that they want more than friendship but that doesnt mean the girl your with even knows this or feels the same!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2006): I think you just know, and have had girlfriends, who have happened to stay in contact with their ex's. You are wrong when you ask "Why do girls always keep in contact with their ex's" - that is far from the truth. Girls put behind their old relationships just as much as men do.
I think you've probably found yourself with girls who were in relationships that were less deep, and more like a friendship. They probably didn't end too "badly" and there is no ominosity between them so they feel like they can put what went on behind them, and continue as friends.
If your girlfriend was intimate with these other guys then you have a right to tell her your feelings. Perhaps she can explain how things are in your head, and make you feel more comfortable about her seeing them, or perhaps she'll see it from your perspective and stop contact with them, or maybe there is some compromise to be made.
The key to sorting out your problem is by communicating with her in a non-accusing way. Concentrate on saying how things make you feel, using examples, ask her to reverse the situation and see how she would feel etc. Don't make her feel like she needs to become defensive as it'll turn in to an argument.
Good luck, I'm sure you'll get through it. It's a common relationship hurdle.
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