A
female
age
30-35,
*auren90
writes:So i am 16 and i am a junior, and I have been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months now. We are very much in love, and he is extremely special to me, so a few weeks ago we had sex for the first time. I ended up having to take a morning after pill due to complications. Ever since then i have been a complete emotional wreck. I feel extremely guilty sometimes, and other times I feel great about it. I never told me parents because i was very embarrassed about it, but I feel like I should, but i'm so nervous about it. Everything is just all jumbled up. We decided that we were not going to have sex afterwards because i clearly was not prepared for the emotional aspect of it. Ever since then we have been arguing more and i completely have no urge to be physical with him at all past a few kisses. I really really do love him, but i am very confused now, i've also been having violent fast mood swings that became more severe after i took that pill. Is what i'm experiencing normal? I feel like i'm going crazy!
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female
reader, Lauren90 +, writes (22 September 2011):
Lauren90 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you all so much! This really means alot to me. You're right, I really am not emotionally ready for it at all, and i didnt realize that until afterwards. I wish I would have known! But you all helped so much, and I will let you know what happens. I have like such an urge to break up with him because of all the guilt and feelings I have gone through because of what happened, but I am just not sure. I'll give us some space and see what happens! I am so glad i'm not the only one feeling this way! Thank you.
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (22 September 2011):
 I wish you would've read my article on this subject (it's http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ladies-what-you-should-know-before-you-have.html ), before you became intimate.
But what is done is done. What you have to realize that Oxytocin (explained more in the article) is very powerful, and you're doing the right thing by holding off being intimate right now.
Also you're very young but you'll learn this...communication is the key to a successful relationship. Instead of being quick to have an outburst or argue, try to actually talk with your boyfriend about whatever problems you both are going through. If you do this, you'll have a much better relationship.
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A
male
reader, childof1981 +, writes (22 September 2011):
 Since you know you are an emotional wreck right now all you have to do is calm down and tone down any actions based on strong emotions. Wait 24 hours, think about things, and then if it still feels like a reasonable action then it's probably ok.
You seem like you feel like there is a Sword of Damocles above your head. The real issue is that you are still forming emotional maturity and part of that is having new experiences (sex) and integrating them into your self. Your problem is that you don't have feedback either positive or negative so you are confused. Your only freaked out because you have never experienced these emotions before. Next time you will be better prepared, and the next time it won't be a bother.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (22 September 2011):
 You were too young emotionally for the trauma of sex. Yes I said trauma. Sex brings a lot of baggage with it(guilt, shame, resentment, buyers remorse etc.) It's normal to get all nervous and jerky about it at a young age. Now you need to wait a few years before "experimenting" again to avoid even more drama in your life. Just chill and enjoy your youth as the rubiat of Omar Kayam states, then to the lip of this earthen ern I learned,drink for once dead you never shall return.
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J  +, writes (22 September 2011):
 This is the major reason why having sex at such an early age is a bad idea; it's not the physical aspect (although that pill didn't help) but the emotional aspect, as "emilyt" pointed out. You simply were not emotionally ready to experience sex.
Are the arguments all one-sided? In other words, do you initiate them or is your boyfriend similarly affected by his emotions over this? You need counselling, but how to get it without giving the game away, that could be the problem.
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A
male
reader, landomando +, writes (22 September 2011):
I think you rushed into having sex. And for the things you are feeling and going through, are just due to the fact that you are feeling guilty. Tell your boyfriend what you are feeling and going through. Hopefully he will be understanding and not pressure you to be physical. Your not going crazy. hang out with your friends get your mind off whats going on. You will be fine. As for the sex, now you know you are not emotionally ready. Dont let him pressure you to be more physicial.
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A
female
reader, mimisoph3 +, writes (22 September 2011):
 it is extremely normal to react the way that you have reacted and are currently reacting. You had sex for the very first time and being so young and going through that is emotional its self, without adding the complications. I dont believe that you should be so angry and worried about what had past, you did the right thing with the morning after pill, you should be proud of yourself for acting as a responsible adult and realizing that at sixteen it was the best thing to do. I understand why your so emotional ,do you feel like you regret taking the pill and seeing what would happen? ..you not taking the pill doesnt completely mean you could of been pregnant at all. I believe that as your first time you are definitely a little paranoid thinking you might face it again, But just relax and dont worry about it. IF you feel like the relationship with your bf isnt working or if you feel like you'r better of with some thinking to do, then go ahead rest up and ggive yourself some space. keep me updated
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A
female
reader, emilyt +, writes (22 September 2011):
hey, i know how that feels hon, i felt that way alot of times before i found my husband. im 18 btw, and have pretty bad depression. i was always emotional like that. its just a part of not being ready emotionally for sex.
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