A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The problem is my boyfriend. Weve been seeing for 1 year n a half. He treat me like a princess for the 1st year. We split up for a few weeks and wen we got back 2geva i started being really nice to him. Now he is being horrible. He does not want me to go out with him, he is chatting to other girls all the time, he never shows love but yet still says he loves me. He went out tonight and said i couldnt go. He then switched his phone off. Im expecting him 2 get home soon so should i ring him. Or wait for him 2 ring me. Should i be nice? Should i get annoyed? HELP!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): When you broke was it more your decision or his? Cos we’ve all been here – a girlfriend I had dumped me but I still liked her and was crushed when she just ditched me, we got back together and I was thrilled to bits, then later I felt like a doormat and started to resent her and was just mean to her until be broke up for good – I’ve had it done in reverse too, that’s Karma for you!Either way, as harsh as it sounds to me it looks like he’s holding on to you for the meantime but I reckon if someone new came along you would be out the picture pretty quick…….or not if he feels like cheating – just to be really mean!Depends how much you like him, do you wana fight for him? is he worth it?
A
female
reader, pipsgirl  +, writes (2 August 2007):
Your first statement is correct...The problem IS your boyfriend. If he doesn't want you to go out with him, he's hiding the fact that you're back together. The ONLY time a man chatting with other girls is acceptable is when you are comfortable with it. If you're not okay with it, he has to acknowledge it and stop...and he will if he has any respect for you, or desire to really be with you. Simply telling you that he loves you is likely a response as opposed to a genuine statement. After you've been together so long, saying the words doesn't mean they're truthful or meaningful. If you love someone, there are signs of it, with or without 'I Love You' at the end of it.I wouldn't be nice or annoyed. When he gets home have a calm, rational conversation with him. Walk away for a minute if you get emotional. This is what I see happening....This is how it makes me feel...This is what I don't want....This is what I want..... Make it clear that if he truely loves you and wants this relationship to work, he has to communicate with you about this, and things have to change or you will go elsewhere. It sounds to me like he's back with you for some selfish reason, and it's obviously not to make a real long term commitment. I hope this helps! And remember, you are worth more than that! You deserve a man who would travel the world, barefoot and hungry to be by your side to make you happy!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): You are experiencing the same thing as so many of my friends. He's likely back together with you because it's easier or more satisfying in some way than being alone, but he's obviously fishing for a replacement. I say kick him to the curb before you get hurt even worse. If he doesn't want you to go out with him, he's hiding the fact that he's unavailable! Chatting with other girls is strictly a relationship no-no unless you know and trust the girls, and it's not secretive. Saying that he loves you after being in a relationship for so long is probably reflex more than a sincere comment. If he loved you, he'd be taking you out, showing you a good time, not hiding you at home and disappearing to god-knows-where. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of getting annoyed. When he comes home, lay it out. This is the way it is.....This is what I'm not willing to tolerate.....This is the relationship I want.....Either we have this or we go our seperate ways. I hope this helps...sorry if I'm too blunt. Good Luck!!! Remember, you deserve everything you want in a relationship!
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