A
female
age
51-59,
*ost!!!!!
writes: ***UPDATE***Now I'm even more confused.... after him breaking up with me and me asking him for space he noticed this morning I was on yahoo messanger for a while so he felt the need to question who I was talking to. He got really mad when I asked why did it matter. All he could say was whatever. What is going on in his head?? PLEASE I need advice. Please read my previous question below to get the entire story...."Is there ANY hope for us in the future?" dated Feb 1My boyfriend and I of 4 years have been in turmoil for the past 3 months. We had gotten into a large fight back in Nov, things where said that wheren't meant. He said the most horrible thing a man could say to a woman he was to be in love with and to my surprise I smacked him in the face. I have NEVER done this before, and it scared me that I had. Anyways, after that we obviously broke it off. A couple weeks later we talked and I apologized profusely and we missed each other and wanted to work on things so we started seeing each other. He said it would be a slow process and I was willing to go through that. I gave him his space, let him make the terms of when we saw each other and didn't push for anything. The last couple of weekends I have felt like he would rather be doing anything else but spend time with me, so I brought it up. He said he was feeling the same way so I asked if we should just call it quits. He said thats what he was thinking. Not that I wanted to, but I said ok. He told me since what had happened he couldn't get passed it. He told me that he loved me very much but was no longer in love with me. He told me that he wasn't seeing anyone and it would be a long time before he probably would. when I told him that I needed time to heal and that I would not be talking to him any time soon, if at all He actually got a little mad. Now I sit here brokenhearted. I guess what my question is, is there hope? The only thing I can think of that would change his love for me, is he is unwilling to forgive me and he is holding on to that. I am trying my best to stay "no contact" although I have cheated a little and looked at one of his networking pages. He had a statement on it that read "Life moves on even when you think it won't" I want him back but I don't want to hurt anymore. Please give me your advice..... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (3 February 2010):
well done. You have found which button to press. He is obviously jealous and thought that if he dumps you you won't move on since you were groveling for his forgiveness. So now, keep doing your own thing. Maybe step up your grooming to a little sexier. Don't rush to answer his calls every time. Ofcourse if you still want him back don't go as far as dating other men, but just show a different confident attitude from your old self. Maybe lose 10pounds. Be unpredictable. Men fall for this trick everytime.
A
female
reader, ally350 +, writes (3 February 2010):
ok, well, it sounds like you guys really need to figure out what your goals are together. couples really need to almost have the same goals. he is probably watching and wondering who your talking to because he doesn't want to lose you, he wants to minipulate you by bombarting you with questions so it might lead to a secret relationship. if so he's probaby jelious for some reason. it is probably a good idea that you guys stay seperated for a while just so you both can think about the best solution and get on the same page. if you two are ever mad, take a time out from the conversation before anything else is said. that way everything stays calm and you are both ready to hear their thoughts or concerns. remember though that you are your own person. i answered this because my parents almost went through the same thing, so i hope my answer was useful:)
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