A
male
age
30-35,
*nimalsmart
writes:I know i've posted other questions involving a girl, but now there is a new one. We both have known each other for about a year now. we both work as lifeguards and we have training this weekend. i think i told her that i liked her last year in a text message. she smokes pot and does drugs. i am very against drugs, but i still like her a lot. i dont think it will get in the way. should i ask her out or something?
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male
reader, NightLad  +, writes (26 April 2009):
 Hi there,
Personally I don’t use extracurricular drugs, such as caffeine, nicotine, alcohol or marijuana. However, many people do. I’m sure that in your life you will find that friends from all walks of life -- spanning race, religion, and profession -- enjoy one or more of the aforementioned substances. It is for this reason you must understand that your real friends will always accept and respect your personal boundaries.
If smoking marijuana or drinking alcohol is against your personal belief system, than by all means make it clear from the start. If offered, decline. That should be the end of it.
As for getting into a romantic relationship with somebody who clearly has different boundaries for drug use, that is a little bit different. Some people may be able to overlook it, or even accept it as part of the person. For others it is a deal-breaker. I think it is important that you get to know this young woman a little bit better before you decide if you have enough ‘pros’ in common to outweigh the ‘cons.’
That said, if she is into hardcore drug use then I echo satindesire’s advice to stay clear. Like attracts Like; if the idea of her using hardcore drugs turns you off, than you better believe the scene she is into won’t be your cup of tea either.
I wish you well. Hope this helps!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009): I think the issue may be bigger than you are making it out to be, as it speaks to her morals, or in this case the lack thereof. As someone who works in public safety, I think it says a fair bit about someone's character when they work in a setting where making the wrong choice can get someone else hurt or killed and they STILL choose to use drugs. It's one thing if you work at Taco Bell and want to smoke weed...the only life you're going to screw up is your own. I can't think of any parent out there who would want their kid's safety left up to someone who might be high. I don't think you should date this girl, and I can only hope that the place you both work figures out she's a drug abuser and fires her sorry @$$ before someone other than her is affected by it.
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